Confused coder life !!

confused question is :
I'm a code lover, i have very good basics in most of programming languages such as C++, JS, Golang, Perl
But i didn't find my passion yet, sometimes i learn web dev for while i find myself learning networking and a moment again i find myself in game dev, but my soul is in love something call hacking,
how to access inside systems and networks
that's why i decide to invest my programming knowledge in cyber security especially in malware programming , i want one day to make a tool like wireshark or metasploit or a strong malware,
but i see a lot of people talking about certifications
and for me i don't have money to pass certifications , I can just study them and gain knowledge is that good to work as an ethical hacker in freelance or with a company without certifications but with skills ?