I’m not sure if these are conversations that everyone has with themselves, yet I’ll take the chance on being considered the crazy one, because f**k-it. This is a conversation I have with myself more often than I would like to admit.
Soooo… what is it that I don’t want to do? Be a newbie, struggle at learning, be unsure, not know the answers, be uncomfortable - the list goes on. If it were up to me, I would sit on my couch every day with the AC on blast so that I can hide under all the blankets. Keona, our dog, would love that too.
This conversation in the back of my mind is a continuous struggle. I want to nap, but I also want the dishes done so the house doesn’t smell. I want to learn to code, but I don’t want to look foolish. I want to create all the content for Sh!t You Don't Want to Talk About Podcast, yet I’m feeling incredibly overwhelmed.
This endless loop has caused incredible uncertainty, fear, anxiety, depression, instability, and overall my mental health does suffer from it. I’m grateful to have an outlet to share these trials, AND to share how I handle them. I love learning how others handle their struggles, too, since I may find something that fits in my toolbox for myself. We’re all so similar and different, and that’s the beauty of the world.
Here’s some examples of f*ck it from the last week, and how I worked through them:
- I have been OVERWHELMED about Sh!t You Don't Want to Talk About Podcast. Overwhelmed in all caps is not enough to describe the stuckness I feel about getting from editing to creating content to posting all about it on social.
- f**k-it. I put the podcast on hold to take the pressure off myself. More episodes will start coming out on 9/21
- On a recent episode of Teach Jenn Tech, Leo joined to talk about Data Models and scaling. Leo said it best, “Well-defined data models lead to well-defined workflows. Data models are really all about defining what we need to pay attention to, so we can ignore the rest.” It was as if this was the answer to my ADHD self working on the podcast! In a future episode, we’ll be diving in deeper to this topic going from theoretical to practical.
- A big part of DevRel role is submitting Calls for Proposals (CFPs) to conferences. I’ve been insanely stuck on how I would bring my passion for mental health to tech. I couldn’t think of a single thing I would talk about.
- A friend offered to help and we livestreamed the process. We’ll be doing so again next week on Wednesday.
- Uncertainty can be immobilizing, such as when I’m starting on a career change and not fully integrated into my new world yet. Will I ever fully integrate? There’s a phrase I like to use when I feel like this, “Logically, it’s fine that I’m doing this, it totally makes sense. Yet, emotionally, I feel uncertain, worthless, and as if I can’t plan for anything in the future.”
- f**k-it. I keep reminding myself that I need to do the best I can, no matter who I work for. It’s not like me to half-ass something despite the uncertainty.
- Uncertainty in one place in my life does not mean there is uncertainty everywhere. I can lean into the places I feel supported.
- Feeling like my content isn’t making a difference.
- I hate admitting this. There are times I need that validation from my friends and family to keep going. Sometimes I need reminders from those that have been doing DevRel for a while that it’ll help me get noticed. I have to remind myself too: why am I making this content?
- I create content to create human connection and communication, like APIs connect software.
- That feeling of anxiety, uncertainty, scarcity, and fear of the unknown….
- f**k-it, let’s do this!
The f**k-it mentality has helped me overcome obstacles that otherwise would leave me stuck in a cycle of going nowhere.
There is a movie that came out in 2020 called the F**k-it List. By no means am I saying that this movie is for everyone. First, it’s based on high-school students, and second, it’s based on students that have a shit ton of privilege, which is not relatable for most of us, including me.
Still, something that we all can take away from a movie or be around people that have a f*ck-it mentality, is that it is contagious.
Just as misery loves company, dragging one another down, humans that don’t believe in the limits of the world can lift each other up. That’s a mindset change that has taken over 20+ years, as I go from overthinking everything to embracing a mindset of f*ck-it, it is what it is.
Join me on the journey of finding my own freedom by saying f**k-it, and finding the tools and resources that help you on yours.
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