It's not wrong to like pink and be a developer

Ever since I was a kid, I have loved pink. Maybe in that sense I was one of those "stereotypical" girls. But at the same time I liked technology, programming and gaming, things that stereotypically have been seen as something that's for boys. But at some point when I was growing up, pink color was seen as something that only little kids like and it wasn't appropriate for me to wear it anymore. I remember I had the most beautiful jacket that I loved a lot, but I rarely wore it because it was pink.

And this attitude towards the color pink has followed me all through my adulthood. Anything cute or feminine is seen as something that's silly, it's not to be taken seriously. However I never stopped liking pink and pastel colors and anything that's cute. But since I also like heavy metal, the color black and technology, it's just easier for me to mostly wear black and tone down my personality so I can be seen as a credible developer. And I hate it.

It has been a lifelong rollercoaster feeling like this. When I was a kid I had courage to be myself, until I was bullied enough and decided to start blending in. Later when I was a teen I decided again to just fuck it and bravely be myself again! Until when I turned 18 and I moved to a completely new city and left everything that was familiar for me behind. Luckily I slowly started to find the courage to be myself again.

I have been lucky to be working in a company where being yourself is encouraged and where the goal is that everyone feels included and appreciated. I feel valued even if I show my true personality at work. I also feel lucky to be able to have discussions about these topics with my coworkers.

When I started working at Futurice I feel I was myself. I was positive, so happy that I couldn't really keep the happiness inside of me and was expressing myself in my own unique way. I just recently talked with an ex-colleague of mine and they said something that really opened my eyes: "I can still hear you saying "that's so CUUUUUUUTE" when seeing something cute around me". And I realized I haven't been like that anymore.

We all have had a crappy year 2020 but my downward hill actually started earlier when my close relative got terminally ill. It made me think about my life a lot and I was feeling anxious and depressed for quite a long time. And I again had started blending in but this time without me even noticing it.

Now after having had time to process everything that has happened, I feel I'm ready to start stoking the fire inside me again. I'm ready to start expressing myself the way I have always been. Whenever I have had a more difficult period in my life, it takes too much courage and energy to truly be the person I am. Being visible in the internet as a woman who is a software developer and a gamer who likes cute things can sometimes be very discouraging. There's just so much harassment going around.

I've also noticed that partly I was avoiding being truly myself was because I don't like stereotypes and it felt wrong that I'm supporting this stereotype that women like pink. But guess what. It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter if I like pink or blue or black or sparkly rainbow glitter (wish that was a thing in peripherals). As long as you are not strengthening harmful stereotypes, like for example bullying boys/men/masculine people who like pink or assuming that someone likes some color because of their gender, it doesn't matter. The colors I have chosen for my setup say nothing about how good programmer I am and the clothes I decide to wear do not reflect my professionality. And I'm going to start proving that right.

If I like pink, then so be it! Since I also like black, why not just combine these two colors that I like? I'm planning on buying a new PC and it will be so pretty. Black case with pink and white cables and components having pink LED lights. My keyboard will be black with pink key caps and my headset will preferably be pink but I want to go practicality and quality first. And the setup will be SO CUUUUUUUUUTE <3

PS. My coworker @sjarva showed me this adorable website https://computecuter.com/ so I wanted to share it here in case anyone wants some inspiration on how to compute cuter!

Comments

[Abbey Perini]

✌️Been using the fairy floss complete VS Code theme in meetings since I found it through the compute cuter site. The pink hair was surprisingly the favorite of my coworkers out of the 4 or so hair colors I had in my last role. 🤔

Share pics of your new setup when it's ready! I'm always jealous of pretty cases with lights. 😭

I also found the #coderclaws hashtag on twitter and want to get some really cute nails again. 👀

[whatminjacodes [she/they]]

Ooh that sounds amazing! I actually did a Cute PC Accessories blog post here on dev, where I show some of the cute/pink products I have :) I'm still planning on getting an electric table, but after that maybe I could do a blog post where I show my setup and tell how I build it.

I need to check that hashtag! Sounds nice, I just painted my nails for the first time i a while yesterday

[Ingo Steinke]

Hi all! I love pink, too, and colors in general! I'm an old white man married to a woman, by the way. I still love pink! As a web developer, I have created Cute Pink Light Theme for PhpStorm (and all other JetBrains IDEA IDE's) inspired by Webfreak's Cute Pink Light Theme for VSCode.

[whatminjacodes [she/they]]

That's awesome!

[Steve Pryde]

We need all voices in software development. Keep on writing software your way and keep on writing about it too. Let's inspire a new generation of coders of every gender and every background.

Coding is for everyone who wants to. I like black and deep purple, fwiw :)

[whatminjacodes [she/they]]

Thank you so much! Yes, let's make technology more inclusive to everyone! :) Black and deep purple are a great combo in my opinion!

[Chip Warden]

1. Compute Cuter is a terrific web site.
2. As an Apple user, I always wished Apple made the MacBook Pro line in colors other than Silver and Space Gray. I loved the old Rose Gold color (it looked very metallic pink to me).

[whatminjacodes [she/they]]

I agree! I had never heard of that website before, but I think it's a great idea! Maybe I could do a blog post where I list all the cute and useful tech things that I have found! :)

And rose gold MacBook Pro would be amazing!

[Gary Bell]

I'm a boy who likes black and blue. Always have. I like them because they are dark and plain. They are about the only colours which suit me properly.

I've never been ashamed of it. Never tried to hide it. And never wanted to change to fit in. I don't see why I should.

I let my work speak for itself and don't let any potential criticism of stereotyping by my choices get in my way. I'd also not let it be a barrier to my team being happy. That said, I'm senior enough to do something about it in my company if that did happen

[whatminjacodes [she/they]]

Yes I agree! Unfortunately girly colors (and being girly/feminine) can still be seen as something that's not serious. But when more and more people of any gender keep wearing and liking what ever colors they happen to like, maybe these stupid stereotypes could be faded eventually!

[FerhatAvdic]

Hey i encourage you to be yourself, especially if we are not talking about genders here.

Every metalhead would want to meet a girl who also likes metal. Nobody wants a world without women, right?

You can wear black, pink, or both, whatever you want. It is true that perception can be manipulated - so if you want to appear more serious - do wear darker colors. If you want to appear friendly, cheerful, playful, and happy - wear lighter clothes. Sometimes you must do that at work so people have more respect - it is just how people perceive things usually. If they are used to darker tones at meetings, so be it, just put on a black leather jacket during a meeting if you fancy that.

Also if you're designing stuff and you chose colors - it is not about you, it is about the product, it is about what the client wants, so it doesn't matter which color you prefer yourself.

Id love to have you as a colleague. Don't hold back, just be smart and know when to do what :)

[whatminjacodes [she/they]]

Thank you for your reply! That is exactly my point: I hate it that some colors are seen as not "professional" or that some colors make people have more respect towards you. It's just insane! I do think that of course one should dress up accordingly (formal vs casual in different situations) but the color one is wearing shouldn't really matter if you are not in funeral or wedding or something like that :) So yes, for now I probably will keep wearing black in a meeting room, but when I have gotten more senior and don't need to spend as much energy proving my worth (this would actually make another great blog post), I could wear as girly clothes as I wish and hopefully world will be one step forward and not seeing girly/feminine traits as weak or silly :)

And yeah obviously when designing something for someone else, you will put aside what you want and do what suits the client and their brand. Though I can't pretend I would know much about that since my design skills are more in the "engineer looking design" style :D