I feel letting me know would have allowed me to use that time better.
I consider this to be a belief, and not a feeling. If the word feel is not immediately followed by a feeling (scared, upset, confident, etc...), then I take another look to see if it really is a feeling or if it is a belief in disguise.
I consider beliefs to be "higher level" and much less relatable than feelings.
Hey Kevin, thanks for the great reply and food for thought.
From practicing these concepts with clients daily, I often soften a belief by presenting it as a feeling where the feeling can be easily assumed - but only in cases where if the feeling itself were said, the other person my take on the guilt as if it were said to be caused by them even though that is what is being avoided - or attempted to.
Though, to footnote that though, I rarely do that in spoken communication as I am able to offer more nuance to the communication that pure written communication would do.
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Great stuff. I'm a big fan of NVC.
I do have one concern. When you wrote:
I consider this to be a belief, and not a feeling. If the word feel is not immediately followed by a feeling (scared, upset, confident, etc...), then I take another look to see if it really is a feeling or if it is a belief in disguise.
I consider beliefs to be "higher level" and much less relatable than feelings.
What do you think?
Hey Kevin, thanks for the great reply and food for thought.
From practicing these concepts with clients daily, I often soften a belief by presenting it as a feeling where the feeling can be easily assumed - but only in cases where if the feeling itself were said, the other person my take on the guilt as if it were said to be caused by them even though that is what is being avoided - or attempted to.
Though, to footnote that though, I rarely do that in spoken communication as I am able to offer more nuance to the communication that pure written communication would do.