This is a submission for the DEV April Fools Challenge
What I Built
A pull request review tool that does absolutely nothing useful.
You paste your tea recipe. A senior engineer reviews it. Every step has critical issues. The PR can never be merged. It returns HTTP 418 — I'm a teapot.
Because someone had to build this. And that someone was me.
Demo
Code
How I Built It
Built with Python + FastAPI because enterprise tea deserves enterprise tooling.
The reviewer is a highly sophisticated, enterprise-grade AI system — which is actually just a carefully curated list of passive-aggressive comments. No AI was harmed in the making of this tool. No AI was used either. Just pure, hand-crafted pedantry.
Sample review comments:
"Magic number detected. Extract 3 minutes to STEEP_DURATION_SECONDS environment variable."
"No error handling. What if the kettle fails? Where is the retry logic?"
"Side effects detected. This step mutates global state (the cup). Please isolate."
"No unit tests found for this step. How do we know boiling actually works?"
Every merge attempt returns HTTP 418 — I'm a teapot as nature intended.
Prize Category
Best Ode to Larry Masinter — because RFC 2324 deserves a production-grade implementation. Thank you Larry for your vision. This is the tool he always dreamed of. Probably.
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