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Coding and ADHD - Can't Start

Abbey Perini on May 31, 2022

I want to start the task. I know I need to start the task. Why can't I start the task? Shame ADHD brains have received so much negati...
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Nik F P

This is an awesome series to see, especially for someone with ADHD. What you've written so far is spot on!

I have a few things that I have found useful that might help others, and I thought I should share.

  1. I found that the biggest factor for me in managing my attention was understanding how my diet and activity level interplay with my ability to concentrate. I found that caffeine and refined sugars are both huge triggers to scatterbrain and inability start tasks and stay on them, so I cut them out. Also, more consistent meals of higher quality food allows me to maintain focus for longer periods than before. This kind of flies in the face of common business thinking though, since coffee is so pervasive in most office cultures and most people are too busy to focus on eating well, so they get what they can when they can and the food quality is usually lower than if they prepared it themselves. For activity, something as simple as a mid-day fast walk or bike ride, or anything else that gets my heart rate up, has a drastic effect on my productivity in the afternoon. something about letting out some of the nervous energy maybe? I have alarms set now to remind me to get up and move around.

  2. It took me years to understand this and others might not agree, but I have a certain time of day that I'll be the most productive and able to think deeply, and it's actually later in the day and into the evening. For me, this is when my brain starts to get tired and for some reason this also equates to less scattered. If I haven't fried my brain all day at work, I can write some awesome code in the hours just before bed.

Hopefully someone else finds this useful.

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Abbey Perini

Yes! Diet and exercise can be very helpful - maybe eventually I'll figure out how to consistently feed myself the way I want to and stick to an exercise schedule. ๐Ÿ™ƒ

You'll be happy to see "lean into how your brain wants to focus" in the next blog in the series. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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Peter Franken • Edited

High severity ADHD combined type (aka super ADHD) approved ๐Ÿ˜Ž

Just read both posts in your series and not only is the information solid, the text flows really well which makes for an easy read. Great work!

Edit: Getting diagnosed and starting on meds was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Whilst all tricks and strategies do help, there's only so much you can do to mitigate a chemical imbalance in your brain. Sometimes you need some external help which there's absolutely no shame in!

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Abbey Perini

Thanks! Agreed! In fact, I'm going to try to emphasize even more in the next blog that a lot of my strategy is accepting how my brain is rather than trying to force it to do things.

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Peter Franken

I like that angle, looking forward to reading it (don't feel pressured by this though, seriously)!

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Oisรญn

Sometimes I need to run build and test commands that can take a while, and I'll switch to the web browser and start reading while I'm waiting... Which often results in coming back 15 minutes later because I lost track of time.
One trick I've found that helps is to make a script that uses the system text-to-speech utility to speak out loud and tell me when the command fails or succeeds, so I don't have to keep checking the console. I call it "runsay".
You can also use notify-send to pop up a notification box but that's not as fun.

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abbeyperini profile image
Abbey Perini

Hey, I know you're probably coming from a good place and trying to normalize these challenges, but "everyone is a little ADHD" is a problematic myth. It's dismissive of the real, painful struggle to function we experience every day and the physical differences in our brains. If you're capable of forcing yourself to do the tasks you don't want to do in the morning, and forming habits, that's not the same struggle we're experiencing. Jesse J. Anderson covers this in the "eat the frog" portion of his video I linked in this blog.

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Wojciech S. Gac

Abbey, thanks for approaching this difficult topic in a warm, personal and relatable way. Though I should know better by now, I'm still frequently surprised that so many people out there experience problems and difficulties similar to mine. While I don't like the fact that so many of us struggle, it certainly makes one feel less lonely in this world.

I particularly like your "divide and conquer" strategy for dealing with tasks and have been trying various ways to trick my brain along these lines for some years now. Checklists work well, particularly when there's a nice visual gratification that the brain can't miss. Being mostly an Emacs person, I really love Org-mode with its low-friction style. But even pencil and paper do work, provided one can muster the discipline to have the same "paper" around at all times.

I also remember from university days that mild sleep deprivation actually helped me with exams, cause it hampered my natural tendency to scatter my thoughts all over the place. Well-balanced fatigue (but not overt exhaustion) worked miracles "tunneling" my attention to the one thing it was supposed to be focusing on.

Anyway, it was a funny coincidence today. I was thinking about avoiding distractions and checked my email. And a link to your blog popped up a moment later. Looking forward to the next part. Good luck!

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Abbey Perini

Oooh I'm being fairly cautious about naming any particular organization system or tool while writing the "Can't Remember" part of this series, but I should ask people to comment with ones they like! I hadn't heard of org-mode and it looks right up a developer's alley!

Hahaha Diet Coke and sleep deprivation helped me get through High School, for sure.

Thanks for reading!

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Luke Westby • Edited

Great articles in this series. I will definitely share them with the other ADHD devs that I know. Iโ€™m really looking forward to โ€œCanโ€™t Stopโ€, itโ€™s what I personally have the most trouble managing. Thank you!

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Abbey Perini

Saaaaame! Thanks for reading!

 
abbeyperini profile image
Abbey Perini • Edited

Ok then let me rephrase: there is no magic bullet for ADHD. ADHD people have to switch up their coping strategies as what works one day often does not work the next.

It is well known that ADHD is strongly correlated with substance abuse and substance abuse is strongly correlated with underlying mental health issues, among other things. In the first article, I discuss reward pathways, dopamine, and allude to addiction and hyperfocus with the "can't leave the buttons we like alone" analogy.

Brain disorders are complex and difficult to study, because the experience is subjective.

This is a conversation I have a lot. For perspective, if we compare psychiatry to medicine, it's still in the "your humors seem out of balance" phase. That being said, there have been scientific studies showing physical differences in ADHD brains. It would be more accurate to call it an executive function disorder. It is a cognitive disability. Like most disorders, it's still not researched enough, the research often has heavy biases, and the amount nature and nurture determine symptoms is still debated.

The brain is constantly not storing and erasing/changing stored information - memory is much more fallible than people think. Neural pathways can also easily be damaged physically through disease, injury, and substances. If you're talking about the fact that neural pathways are hard to change through behavior, then yes. Reward pathways are especially stubborn, which is important for both ADHD and substance abuse. However, ADHD reward pathways work very differently - to the point that forming habits takes years and the rewards we require look very different. That Jesse J. Anderson video also covers the difference in rewards we need.

Yes, if you add dopamine to the system of someone with ADHD, it will help them do the task. Any suggestion involving "just do it," "just do it a little every day," "just force yourself," "make it a habit," or "willpower" is still dismissive to say to someone with ADHD. I could not force myself to get in a tub full of ice every morning even with my Adderall. I wouldn't have the ice ready every morning, for sure.

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Gwen (Chen) Shapira

This is great, even neurotypicals can benefit from those ideas.

One thing I found critical when working with ADHD engineers is to invest in great developer tools and smooth CI/CD.

The moment someone loses focus, it is so hard to get it back. If your tests take over a minute to run, they may forget the code they were working on while the tests are running. Or if they push a PR to Github and then they need to follow up later on whether the build failed, they may forget to follow up. Your CI/CD really needs a good reminder system and hopefully as few manual steps as possible.

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Abbey Perini

Thanks, Gwen!

This is a really good tip! I know I've said before that if I ever learn how to maintain focus when a development server takes longer than a minute to load, I'll be unstoppable. ๐Ÿ˜ƒ I hadn't even thought about how much keeping Github email notifications on for CircleCI was helping me. ๐Ÿ˜…

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CodeDiva

Thank you for writing this encouraging article. It means a lot to know that there are people who are neurodivergent and are devs. I am trying and have been trying for years to become a full time developer. However, it has taken me years to realize that I have ADD (recently diagnosed) and that has had a huge impact on my ability to stay focused on this goal. Iโ€™m able to complete classes and have done some small projects. But the overwhelm and the shame are huge factors that have impeded my progress. The job interviews that include technical interviews are intimidating and I have never done that well on such tests. Talking about subjects are my strong point. And I have excellent people skills. Iโ€™m a senior QA at this point. And understand quite a bit. But getting through that barrier is elusive to me. Itโ€™s not going to deter me from continuing to learn and achieve this goal.

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Abbey Perini

Thank you for reading! Once you get that job, you'll be in great company. Many of the best developers I know have ADHD.

I never passed a leetcode-type interview, in fact, I cried every single time I tried one. I can do ok on the rapid-fire technical question type interviews. I do well in pairing-style whiteboard interviews and interviews where they ask me questions about projects on my portfolio.

I still got a job, and I have an admin background. I would definitely think of your QA experience as a boon and you've clearly been putting in the work, so hopefully you find an interview process that's right for you soon! ๐Ÿคž

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Andrii Los

Great series.

I never got diagnosed but I have 100% some sort of ADHD. So many things mentioned here are what I have troubles with.
Hard to start, but then it goes. If I like something I'm super into it until I'm not. And so on and so forth. Many things I learned along the way to get back myself some hobbies. But it made me worse coder as I now have other sources of joy, while when I had a complete ban on entertainment aside from socializing, I've been workaholic and I've been progressing with my career like crazy. Now I still do progress, but much slower and I'm extremely disappointed with myself most of the time. I can do so much more... I can be so helpful, but my focus on work is very bad, only strict deadlines and nice planning helps, otherwise if I don't excited about the task it will take me a while to get to do it and then it will be done but not as perfect as I would want it to be so I'll be annoyed once again.

Continue this, please.

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Abbey Perini

I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles! You're not alone and you've made it this far with undiagnosed ADHD, so you're doing amazing! ๐Ÿ’™

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rip21 profile image
Andrii Los

Yeah, I'm sure that in current world that is full of distractions people even without ADHD of any sorts may struggle with similar issues. But I think mine are a bit more dramatic :) So prob I have one (unsure if it makes sense to diagnose).

Anyway, it's annoying, but I'm still doing great, just hope I'll get a reliable method of fighting it so I'll be doing not great, but freaking amazing :)
Some methods provided here are fresh to me, so let's hope some of these will work out :)

Thanks!

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abbeyperini profile image
Abbey Perini

Yeah, the wall of awful is pretty impactful. I think I've sent it to every friend whose spouse has ADHD, and it's really helped them understand and meet their spouses halfway. Most people, ADHD or not, don't realize how much negative internal and external messaging people with ADHD live with.

There are certainly times when everything seems impossible - I wish you the best of luck acclimating in your new home!

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Sebastian Vargr

I cannot find the time to read this series right now, but i just wanna add' i think this is a great initiative.

I was undiagnosed for ~12 years of my working years, getting diagnosed and learning how work around rather than through my problems made me genuinely a happier and less worried person.

Knowledge is power! :)

 
abbeyperini profile image
Abbey Perini

Cool. To anyone with ADHD reading this - it's not in your head. There are real statistics from real statisticians. I tried the "just force yourself" way for 28 years, and the result was burn out and pain, not productivity. Accepting my brain and tackling the shame has been more helpful to me than any productivity tip from someone who doesn't struggle with ADHD.

Psychiatric medications, side effects, and the research on them are another topic. Don't listen to anyone trying to shame you for taking your meds. Do discuss side effects and the effects of long term use with your doctor.

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ben profile image
Ben Halpern

Thanks for getting going with this series

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Abbey Perini

Thanks for reading!

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MOHITBILALA

As well as adhd, I cannot focus and give my full attention in a javascript project I have failed a few times after failing multiple times I try harder and when I write down what I'm doing, I cannot accomplish quicker or why I'm facing this problem. Can you please tell me what I am struggling with?

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abbeyperini profile image
Abbey Perini

Hi! Unfortunately, I am not a mental health professional and can only tell you to talk to a mental health professional. For people in the U.S., I have a Twitter thread on finding a therapist. If you're already seeing a psychiatrist, they're really just there to help you with your medication, not coping strategies.

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BaasMurdo

Great read ! I agree with most of the points here.
Getting started is basicly the big blocker, after that, momentum / excitement / curiosity in most cases carries you over the finish line !
To explain how cool I found this post, I didn't have a DEV account, I specifically created one to comment here to tell you to keep writing ! Really, nice work !

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hydroxz profile image
HydroxZ

Listening to white noises helps a lot

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andrewbaisden profile image
Andrew Baisden

This is such a great series keep it up!

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hjrobinson

Oh nooo! This article drew my attention away from my current task! Just kidding thanks for the article.

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Tawhid • Edited

Ayy, I'm also diagnosed with adhd.Hope you are doing good.Stay strong!

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Bashar Abdullah

The tidy room comic hits home hard. And very true. I spend a lot of time worrying about being productive, and it seeps into my leisure time and ruins it. Once I start, it gets easier.

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ahmedqasem4 profile image
AhmedQasem4

incrediable post and explaniation thank you alot

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taijidude

Good stuff. Following! :-)

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marinsborg profile image
Marinsborg.com

That pie chart is soooo correct

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Peter Henry

A fellow coworker shared this with us today. Thanks to him, and thank you for writing sharing. I'm not the only one. Thank you.

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Bradley Oliver

Had no clue there were so many people just like me!

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appdesign profile image
App Design

Great post! thanks.

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gabriel-viviani

Just, thank you!!

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bluecd profile image
zebe • Edited

Late but great. ;)
Thanks for above. Recently Ive just discovered and probably understood years
of fighting w/myself. Time to switch my job. Actually its sth Ive felt under my skin.
Starting,however and keeping on track seems not that easy, as described by you above..

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Artem Sapegin

I certainly have a problem with remembering to think of things, like in your example with writing todos for tomorrow. But I donโ€™t have problems with cooking at least one breakfast in the morning, usually two (though I wasnโ€™t cooking much most of my life) โ€” I guess itโ€™s a win ;-)

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rikvermeer

This is so recognizable ๐Ÿ˜‚

Last year I quit my job by telling my narcissist boss I knew ten others that could fill his shoes, and got fired. Asked myself if I did the right thing and realized I was whistling in the supermarket. At the time I was reverse engineering a serial protocol to make some machinery IoT. Since I was the only one working on it, I offered to finish it as unemployed or self-employed to my ex-manager; I knew him personally so I didn't want to let him down.

Now we're still working together for that customer although there are some jedy mind tricks at play here and there. Like, I can't develop freely in managed services, taking over the layer 1 architecture. I'm building IoT devices now and learning electrical engineering on a side quest. Did my first production run last month of 50 devices; 3d printing, designing the PCB, making cables, testing (yeah, sure, like there was time), installment, network, etc ..

I really love every little bit of my engineering life/work/study/hobby/passion but man, I can only keep one plate spinning at a time and things like finance, relation, housekeeping, friendships, free time... They all let me feel like im constantly drowning and falling behind. On one hand sometimes I feel like anything is possible in the future and at days of procrastination, I feel the fear for not living up to my responsibilities and being a fuck-up.

I hope one day to hire my own boss, get things done in collaboration and get the checks in place to do things neatly.

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rontok

argh... how do you deal like not being able to start? for example learning 2d pixel art gamedev, I just can't start , I keep trying to find the best tutorials , the best gamemaker/game engine

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Thomas Hansen

Love the idea of this series, it takes courage :)

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Anuj Gupta

I don't know much about ADHD . But what has helped me while working is playing music. It allows me to work longer hours.

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