Coding and ADHD - Can't Start

I want to start the task. I know I need to start the task. Why can't I start the task?

Shame

ADHD brains have received so much negative messaging about their ability to do tasks, that inability to start is often rooted in shame. Many of us struggle with perfectionism, and no one enjoys trying and failing at the same task repeatedly.

I highly recommend How to ADHD and Brendan Mahan's Wall of Awful explanation part 1 and part 2. A short book I found very helpful is How to Keep House While Drowning. Jesse J. Anderson also does a great job of explaining how ADHD brains are motivated and some tools to use in this video. Black Girl Lost Keys has tons of helpful resources. I tweet about my ADHD and follow many people who tweet about their ADHD because it is very helpful to know other people are struggling with these things too.

Overwhelm

ADHD people often find pairing/co-working/body doubling helpful, especially for starting a task. I have to find a balance because I will chat someone's ear off given the opportunity, to the detriment of getting my work done.

Throughout my life, the main thing that has worked for me when I encounter a large task I don't want to start is writing down all the steps. Often I find I'm overwhelmed by something because I'm thinking of it as one step when it's actually 20.

Next I break each of those steps down into its smallest steps. Then I find the smallest step in that list and try it. For code, sometimes this is as easy as making a blank file and importing something. Once I've done it, my brain declares the task started, and suddenly things are much less overwhelming.

This can be very difficult for people with ADHD, so never be afraid to ask for help breaking it down. This can be one area in which development work suits people with ADHD. It is normal to discuss the individual steps involved in a task in order to properly estimate and prioritize them. There is often a person whose job it is to help you do so, and if not, it could be a great thing to pair with another developer on. If there's not a developer like that within your company, you can ask a friend or join a networking group.

Just a Little Bit

Something I've learned recently is that committing to an amount of time trying the task or a small percent of the task really works for ADHD brains. "I'll do 15 minutes of dishes." or "I'll just do 5% of this refactor" is often enough to get us started. Once that 5% is complete, that momentum often gives enough motivation to start another 5% and so on.

At the end of the work day, I'll often ask myself if there are small tasks I can do right now to make it easier to start in the morning. For me, this is usually making sure my to do list for tomorrow has the first task I want to try in the morning and all my meetings/appointments/events on it. Sometimes it's picking up desk clutter to limit distractions or writing myself an encouraging note on a post it.

Before I sit on the couch to relax, I try to ask myself what small task I can do to help myself function tomorrow. For example, do I have breakfast I can prep in 3 steps or less? If not, I should prep some. I'm trying to find the smallest task I can do while I have some momentum, instead of hoping I have the motivation in the morning.

Conclusion

Did I miss a resource or tip you love? Leave a comment!

Up next:

• Can't Keep Going
• Can't Stop
• Can't Remember
• Where We Excel

Comments

[Artem Sapegin]

I certainly have a problem with remembering to think of things, like in your example with writing todos for tomorrow. But I don’t have problems with cooking at least one breakfast in the morning, usually two (though I wasn’t cooking much most of my life) — I guess it’s a win ;-)

[zebe]

Late but great. ;)
Thanks for above. Recently Ive just discovered and probably understood years
of fighting w/myself. Time to switch my job. Actually its sth Ive felt under my skin.
Starting,however and keeping on track seems not that easy, as described by you above..

[rontok]

argh... how do you deal like not being able to start? for example learning 2d pixel art gamedev, I just can't start , I keep trying to find the best tutorials , the best gamemaker/game engine

[Thomas Hansen]

Love the idea of this series, it takes courage :)

[Abbey Perini]

Yeah, the wall of awful is pretty impactful. I think I've sent it to every friend whose spouse has ADHD, and it's really helped them understand and meet their spouses halfway. Most people, ADHD or not, don't realize how much negative internal and external messaging people with ADHD live with.

There are certainly times when everything seems impossible - I wish you the best of luck acclimating in your new home!

[rikvermeer]

This is so recognizable 😂

Last year I quit my job by telling my narcissist boss I knew ten others that could fill his shoes, and got fired. Asked myself if I did the right thing and realized I was whistling in the supermarket. At the time I was reverse engineering a serial protocol to make some machinery IoT. Since I was the only one working on it, I offered to finish it as unemployed or self-employed to my ex-manager; I knew him personally so I didn't want to let him down.

Now we're still working together for that customer although there are some jedy mind tricks at play here and there. Like, I can't develop freely in managed services, taking over the layer 1 architecture. I'm building IoT devices now and learning electrical engineering on a side quest. Did my first production run last month of 50 devices; 3d printing, designing the PCB, making cables, testing (yeah, sure, like there was time), installment, network, etc ..

I really love every little bit of my engineering life/work/study/hobby/passion but man, I can only keep one plate spinning at a time and things like finance, relation, housekeeping, friendships, free time... They all let me feel like im constantly drowning and falling behind. On one hand sometimes I feel like anything is possible in the future and at days of procrastination, I feel the fear for not living up to my responsibilities and being a fuck-up.

I hope one day to hire my own boss, get things done in collaboration and get the checks in place to do things neatly.

[App Design]

Great post! thanks.

[Andrew Baisden]

This is such a great series keep it up!

[Sebastian Vargr]

I cannot find the time to read this series right now, but i just wanna add' i think this is a great initiative.

I was undiagnosed for ~12 years of my working years, getting diagnosed and learning how work around rather than through my problems made me genuinely a happier and less worried person.

Knowledge is power! :)

[MOHITBILALA]

As well as adhd, I cannot focus and give my full attention in a javascript project I have failed a few times after failing multiple times I try harder and when I write down what I'm doing, I cannot accomplish quicker or why I'm facing this problem. Can you please tell me what I am struggling with?

[Abbey Perini]

Hi! Unfortunately, I am not a mental health professional and can only tell you to talk to a mental health professional. For people in the U.S., I have a Twitter thread on finding a therapist. If you're already seeing a psychiatrist, they're really just there to help you with your medication, not coping strategies.