This blog post was originally posted on BooksOnCode
You're in post-layoff shock. Either you have just been laid off from your tech job, have a colleague or friend, or you are reeling from the online news. I hope this article serves as comfort for you as you process this feeling as it is the feeling I've just processed over the past couple months.
I put "based on personal experience" in the title. Why? We are going through human struggles right now: human hurt, shock, and suffering. I am often on my search browser looking for catharsis. No wonder the top result is often Reddit and not the plethora of AI-generated blog posts dominating our browser.
A little aside: blogging has made me jaded over the recent years. A meeting with a blogging coach said I needed to get on the AI-generated-content game if I were to survive this current landscape. Blogging, like tech, has been hit with a wave of turbulence. But with the encouragement of my email list, I know that authentic content is here to stay. Hence, this blog post is worth writing. I hope you read it to the end.
So here's the story: I was laid off from my big tech job.
Though I was in constant survivor's guilt after each round of tech layoffs and in anticipation of the moment, nothing could prepare me for the shock drop.
In this article, I'll highlight my personal experiences as well as share insider information on how we ended up where we are today. Plus, I'll go over where to go from here from a practical (and not 'rah-rah' cheerleader) standpoint -- all from someone who is living through it right now.
3 reasons you're in tech post-layoff shock:
1. You're suddenly financially or emotionally vulnerable after a major life event
It seems like a coincidence. You were laid off amidst a major life event. One of these events may have happened right before or right after your layoff:
You just got married and added a spouse to your health insurance plan.
You just had a traumatic separation with a spouse or loved one.
You just closed on a house and took on a hefty mortgage.
You just moved to another country and rely on employer sponsorship.
You just found out you are having a baby.
You just experienced the death of a loved one or had a major health crisis.
I’ve heard a staggering number of stories like this – to the point that it seems like the rule rather than the exception. Serendipitously, a layoff coincides with one or multiple major life events.
Why does this phenomenon happen?
Logic dictates that life is always changing. People are always getting sick, dying, being born, breaking up, getting together, moving, and making major purchases. But a layoff highlights these things, amplifying major events by a lot. A layoff is a huge blow to your identity, self-esteem, and your sense of security as well as your actual security.
The odds of one or more of these major events happening around a layoff is high – especially when tech jobs are lucrative and give you the means to feel secure enough to take big leaps. At prime working age in the tech industry, many of us have an aging family and are making major moves.
I am no exception to the rule. The shock to my system was great – still fresh, personal, and ongoing. The feedback I get from friends, family, and strangers are a cacophony of the same series of phrases:
Perhaps this layoff was a blessing in disguise
This is a great opportunity to take time to soul-search and discover yourself
You are so great; I’m completely confident you’ll get through this just fine
And the best response: let me know if you need an ear or need any help
I’ve been resisting most of what people are saying. I’m surprised by how many well-meaning and dear people have encouraged me to take time for myself, to breathe, and to discover myself.
I’ve had a series of irritated responses snap back in my head:
If I was employed and looking for another job, nobody would be telling me to pause.
I know my own financial situation best.
I journal and reflect every day; how does a layoff correlate with the need to know myself?
Even if I am ‘so great,’ so are all of my peers who were laid off who have not yet found work. I also have to try hard and know that I’m not guaranteed a good position anytime soon.
I’m not the only one who has had a flare-up of irritability. After getting laid off, I subscribed to LinkedIn Premium and set out to optimize my profile. Being on LinkedIn more, my feed is proliferated with pessimism about the tech job market: tech peers analyzing rejection emails, complaining about interview experiences, and airing frustrations about something someone said (like I just did). Instead of trying to engage with my feed, which is good for my profile’s SEO, I decided to just ignore it.
I heard “blessing in disguise” often over these past couple months and I understand the sentiment. Though I try to take it well, resentment redoubles in my chest. Even if a layoff in the medium-to-long term ends up working well for me – if I re-evaluate my career and make brave choices – the sentiment still grits against the current reality:
I am robbed from making a choice.
Even if we were unhappy at our jobs – even if we instead thought about caring for our parent with rapidly-progressing dementia or being with our young children who are growing up too fast or going all-in on our creative passion project – we are still rejected, shamed, and panicked about getting laid off. It doesn’t feel like a blessing.
The emotions that come during a layoff are well described by Steve Jaffe in his Amazon book, The Layoff Journey (2025):
My body's immediate reaction was, well, shock. How could this happen? Why me? Surely, there must be some mistake! Soon to follow was shortness of breath, elevated heart rate, and a dry mouth. [...] Suddenly, my future had become a giant black hole absorbing and casting doubt on everything in it.
This is a feeling not to be taken with lightheartedness and cheer. If you have a friend who recently experienced a layoff, be soft, be patient, and let your friend feel. If you are the person laid off, it’s important to grieve and to allow emotions to come and go without suppression. It’s the only path to healing.
2. The tech industry was stable for 20 years
Jobs in the tech industry have had great PR throughout the 2010s and early 2020s. Far more Computer Science students were graduating. Coding Bootcamps were pumping out students finding lucrative jobs. I, too, was hired during a big hiring boom in 2021. I was onboarded alongside a staggering 2,000 other software engineers who were hired that year – at one company.
The industry was booming until it suddenly wasn’t. Starting in 2022, nearly 100k tech employees were laid off – a trend that has only continued year after year.
A reason for the shock: "[T]he tech industry has been thought of as layoff-proof for the past 20 years," said Samuel So, a doctoral student in human centered design and engineering who conducted surveys on the “cruel optimism” of those who experienced tech layoffs.
I was unaware of this optimism. But in 2022, an intern on my team entered our usual one-on-one meeting in distress. Our company had just announced they were rescinding all intern offers soon before the start dates. These were current college students who had already accepted their offers, denied others, and made plans. Not only that, but interns who were previously indicated that they were going to be hired post-internship were no longer receiving offers.
“This is not why I went into tech!” said the intern on my team. I could feel her panic radiating.
“What do you mean?” I said. “The tech industry is turbulent. You don’t get into tech for job security.”
“I didn’t know that,” cried the intern. “I thought it was safe.”
That brief exchange sent me into a tailspin. How did she not know?, I thought. But I was just coming to understand the truth: recent Computer Science graduates didn’t know. I thought the tech industry was unsafe, but a wave of graduates were going into tech because of its safety.
Jeane Twenge’s book on Gen Z, iGen, highlights that Gen Z is a far more practical and pragmatic generation than their Millennial neighbors. Millennials, who were taught to dream big, were more likely to choose careers based on passion. Gen Z, who saw ‘passion’ catastrophically fail during the Great Recession, decided to prioritize safety and jobs that pay.
So somehow, tech had become safe – and Gen Z were gravitating toward it.
But pursuing Silicon Valley is like pursuing gold during the Gold Rush: it has great rewards and risks.
The message I gathered was more of a typical Millennial – one of passion: do it not for the money, but because it’s interesting.
Whether we’re there for stability or risk, we have ended up in the same industry during a trying time. But perhaps one group is more in shock than the other.
A lot of us will leave the industry. But many of us will stay, too, and reinvent ourselves to meet the new demands, which seems to look like AI and higher-level architectural thinking. There is also a lot to be pessimistic about with the ever-shrinking opportunities for juniors, seemingly to leave only senior-level positions before the role likely evolves into something else entirely.
It’s a shocking and scary time full of unknowns, completely validating the great shock we now find ourselves in. Despite aiming for stability, it seems there is no stability anywhere.
3. You have no Option B (and can't conceive of one)
Nothing feels safe and everything seems to be affected by AI. It comes after the marketing copywriters, technical writers, designers, artists, and filmmakers. Anything that involves typing on a keyboard, music, or art.
I find the optimists of AI infuriating – not that I’m shirking all of AI’s benefits. It’s just – some of us, especially when we are unemployed, sometimes just want jobs. AI is a boon for the entrepreneur but induces sweat for anyone thinking about putting food on the table.
Designing Your Work Life uses the concept of “good enough for now” for prototyping into a more ideal work life. If we find ourselves not in our ideal work situation, such as unemployment, the next career move may not check all of your boxes.
The book dictates that step one is to accept your situation. And, given your situation, define small moves you can make that would make your situation sustainable in the near term – something good enough for now.
And here’s the thing: that midway step feels yanked away, too. Prior, when I was in between jobs, I used to take on temp work in web development. This work was plentiful and I had no problem securing a small contract in little time. Today, these temp jobs are also saturated with competition and are often open to overseas contracts.
I am finding myself lacking creativity, looking in similar directions to everyone else.
But the reality is still here: extremely seasoned, talented senior developers – thousands of them – are competing for roles where not enough exist. Many of us are not going to squeeze our way in. At least, not now.
So then, what is good enough for now?
Teaching has come up a number of times. I was in a coffee shop, overhearing a well-meaning friend suggest teaching to his laid-off software engineer buddy. Perhaps the local college has a spot? Again, if everyone is thinking of it, the competition still lives there.
The happiest among the laid off, who have not found jobs, have left tech to do something completely different like start a pottery studio. The level of big thinking required, in a state of fear for security, is an incredibly challenging position to be in, especially when our mothers or spouses were so happy for our tech job just a moment ago and may not have accepted our situation.
If we keep thinking that we can rewind time, going back to where we just were, we won’t see other opportunities.
What Now?
This is a turbulent time for many of us. Where I am, in California, we have the highest unemployment rate of any other state – with over a million unemployed.
I see this moment as a calling to practice resilience and to give oneself small graces.
I’ve seen online that the job search is “hell on earth” – announcements from individual tech workers losing their houses and moving into their cars. It’s a scary time and not one where a pep talk is appreciated.
But regardless, we cannot let outside forces control and ruin us. We have to shape and design our own destiny.
During this time, I picked up Designing Your Life again, which has been the best tool for shining light on my situation, allowing me to both accept it, reframe it, and iterate on it. Doing productive writing exercises helps me get a clear head, try new things, and gain some motivation.
And with the wisdom of Atomic Habits, I recommend coding regularly so that you maintain your identity. Going a week or two without touching a line of code begins to sink into your self consciousness, making you feel like a fraud, impacting your interviewing ability. Step-by-step hands-on coding courses like Codecademy gamify this small daily habit.
As scared as I am, I am not going anywhere. Please, comment on this post with your story and let's elevate each other.
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