I didn't read all the way through before posting this comment - I only got to the part where you wrote about the problem of having to fix the SQL generated by the ORM - and since you've mentioned .Net (which is the world I've been living in the past decade or so) - I've stopped and searched your post for one word that I couldn't find in it - that word is Dapper.
If you're not familiar with Dapper yet - this is a micro-orm which doesn't generate the SQL for you - but does abstract away a lot of the plumbing code you have to write with your basic IDbCommand interface - and it maps the result set you get from the database to your .Net types (which is, BTW, what defines an ORM - Object-Relational-Mapper).
I strongly recommend giving it a go - the learning curve is very easy (At least for simple uses) and it's fast and lean.
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I didn't read all the way through before posting this comment - I only got to the part where you wrote about the problem of having to fix the SQL generated by the ORM - and since you've mentioned .Net (which is the world I've been living in the past decade or so) - I've stopped and searched your post for one word that I couldn't find in it - that word is Dapper.
If you're not familiar with Dapper yet - this is a micro-orm which doesn't generate the SQL for you - but does abstract away a lot of the plumbing code you have to write with your basic IDbCommand interface - and it maps the result set you get from the database to your .Net types (which is, BTW, what defines an ORM - Object-Relational-Mapper).
I strongly recommend giving it a go - the learning curve is very easy (At least for simple uses) and it's fast and lean.