This is not a blog I anticipated writing. My plan was to let Women's History Month pass me by as much as possible.
...but I'm tired.
I am tired.
...
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"Your husband clearly does all your work for you."
"Why not take advantage of the fact that they assume you're less competent because you're a woman?"
I am so sorry you had to endure comments like this @abbeyperini. Just reading them makes me eyes roll in annoyance and reminds me of receiving the comment "There's no gender check on GitHub" in my discussion post about women not being represented in open source(the comment has been deleted).
Where are all the womxn-owned open source projects?
Christine Belzie ・ Mar 17
It's frustrating how women, especially in tech, are often discredited for their efforts and are gaslit when they speak about this problem. :(
Also, I want to mention Dorothy Johnson Vaughan, Mary Robinson, and Katherine Johnson to your list of women who impacted tech as women of color as especially ignored for their efforts in making tech awesome.
Keep speaking out on this issue! :)
This is (as always) a great article. As a woman in tech, I want to send you a virtual hug. Because I know it's hard, and sometimes none seems to care.
One thing that just amazes me is how society decides something is designed for one gender, and out of nowhere that same thing now is something for the other gender. As a computer engineering student I know I have to try twice as hard as my male classmates to (hopefully, because it is not always the case) be perceived as half as competent.
I remember once I was talking to some classmates about an assignment and I had notes about the subjects, I had made all the exercises the teacher asked us to do, and I knew how to do the assignment, so one of my classmates told me "how am I going to compete with Leticia for a job, I don't even have a notebook for this subject", and my answer was "well, you are most likely to get the job because you (a man) have no change of getting pregnant". This answer kinda of silenced everyone.
Usually men (and people in general) are not taught to put themselves in someone's shoes, and sometimes they just don't have any idea of the struggles other people are going through. And some just don't care. That's a sad fact. The typical person that just say you were asking for it, or that you should have taken more care of yourself. Anyway, I don't want to get deeper into that subject because, I'm also tired, and it's even more tiring knowing what kind of situations may be waiting for me in the future as a programmer.
Thanks for reading! Right back at you with the virtual hug. So sorry to hear you are already feeling this weight.
You hit the nail on the head talking about how men don't have to think about this. I was surprised by the huge, positive response to this blog, honestly. Yes, there were a lot of men who missed the point entirely, but there were many who rose to the challenge when I asked them to think deeper and tell me what they're going to do about it in the future.
To me, this comment sounds like you've got it under control, but definitely check out Kristi's post if you're wanting a dose of optimism and actionable things to do about it. Finding community with other women in tech has definitely helped me the most. Wishing you the best with school!
Thank you for researching, writing and sharing this, Abbey.
I relate so much to a lot you wrote here. As a singular example: When I announced I got made FE-Lead in my current job, I got comments like, "Obviously a quota needed to be filled" etc. I was the startup's first hire and no way I can "just cruise" in my role, but hey y'know, trolls gonna troll.
At the same time, I'd like to share a non-US perspective.
In Canada, my Toronto bootcamp was about 50/50 men/women. In my first job, I was 1 of 3 female devs in a team of 6 developers. I didn't experience a lot of what you shared until I became more active on Twitter. And this has unfortunately become a bit more of my experience since.
I sometimes wonder if part of this may be that Twitter has a disproportionate number of trolls safe behind screens, and the echo-chamber nature of the platform amplifies issues and make it feel all-consuming.
I don't have an answer to the questions you pose. But despite the challenges, I can honestly say I'm grateful to be a developer. It's been life-changing for me.
Thanks for reading! I'm sorry to hear you've had similar experiences.
Twitter/being online/the courage of anonymity is part of it, but I've been surprised by how much "laymen" in my social life are affected by the media perpetuating the stereotype. Every single one of the quotes was said to me in person socially or via video call during bootcamp or in a professional context. Also love those social events that accidentally turn into recruiting events when the people from the software consulting company find out I'm one of those women developers!
Ultimately, it's a pattern I've seen across all male-dominated spaces I've entered. It's even more frustrating in programming because it's so demonstrably false. Compared to areas like e-sports where participation has never been close to 50/50 or D&D which is only just now becoming somewhat inclusive, where there isn't a well-documented long history of excellence to point to.
If you haven't, give Kristi's post I linked in the comments a read. She's in a much more optimistic place about it. I'm hoping I'll get there now that I'm in a very inclusive professional environment. 🙂
Ahhhh I'm so sorry to hear that, Abbey!!! Like you, I definitely want to be valued for the skills I bring to the table, not because of my gender. So glad to hear you're in an inclusive work environment now and I sincerely hope it gets better for you!
Cheers for sharing Kristi's post - great actionable tips to support other women. Love it! 🙌
Thanks for sharing your perspective too! And worth noting that even though it's online the response to this blog has been far more positive than I ever would have anticipated. 🥲
Happy to promote what I'm pretty sure was Kristi's first post on DEV! It's a great one.
There's a fascinating book about the hidden history of women in CS in the UK, they even predated the ENAIC: theguardian.com/careers/2017/aug/1...
Very well-written post, thx!
I know mine just ends with questions, so I wanted to add that I loved @kristiperreault 's take on how you can lift the women in your life up starting today.
Thanks for the shout out Abbey, your post is so well written, thank you for sharing!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and some interesting history. I will definitely read some of it further.
Thanks for reading!
Thanks a lot for sharing your point of view. I really enjoyed it!