DEV Community

adam klein
adam klein

Posted on

The true code behind the explosive buzzword marketing messages

AI driven personalization and individualization 

if (isReturningUser) {
  message = 'Welcome back!';
} else {
  message = 'Welcome!';
}
Enter fullscreen mode Exit fullscreen mode

Cutting-edge security algorithms 

const hashedPassword = sha256(password);
// TODO: read about salt
Enter fullscreen mode Exit fullscreen mode

AI-based text sentiment analysis 

sentence.split(',').forEach((phrase) => {
  if (['angry', 'upset', 'pissed off', 'disappointed', 'absurd', 'manager', 'get me your manager', 'get me the manager', 'I want to speak with the manager', 'your manager', 'the manager', 'a manager', 'shut up!', '!!!', 'insane', 'crazy', 'stop arguing with me', 'would you just listen?!', 'how many times', 'no!', `${F_WORD} you!`, `${F_WORD} off!`, `${F_WORD}!`].includes(phrase)) {
    return SENTIMENTS.ANGRY;
  } else {
    return SENTIMENTS.NEUTRAL;
  }
  // TODO: We are not using SENTIMENTS.HAPPY - consider removing
});
Enter fullscreen mode Exit fullscreen mode

Rendering engine 

function render() {
  components.forEach(c => render(c));
}
Enter fullscreen mode Exit fullscreen mode

State of the art rendering engine 

function render() {
  requestAnimationFrame(() => {
    components.forEach(c => render(c));
  });
}
Enter fullscreen mode Exit fullscreen mode

Analytics 

function sendAnalytics(event) {
  sendToServer('/analytics', event);
}
button.onclick = () => sendAnalytics('clicked');
Enter fullscreen mode Exit fullscreen mode

Actionable Analytics 

function sendActionableAnalytics(event) {
  sendToServer('/analytics', event);
}
button.onclick = () => sendActionableAnalytics('clicked');
Enter fullscreen mode Exit fullscreen mode

Real-time collaboration 

setInterval(() => {
  fetch('https://api.server.com/newData').then(isNewData => {
    if (isNewData) {
      this.refreshEverything();
    };
  });
}, 1000);
Enter fullscreen mode Exit fullscreen mode

Data driven business intelligence 

if (customer.lastLoggedIn < new Date() - 3 * MONTHS) {
  sendSmartAlert(SMART_ALERTS.USER_CHURN_ALERT);
}
Enter fullscreen mode Exit fullscreen mode

Contribute more examples using the comments

If you think of funnier examples - comment and I'll include them (if they're good)

Top comments (0)