Time to get vulnerable!
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD. There. I said it. And it's been such a huge relief to know. I've struggled a long ti...
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Although I don't ADHD per se, I do have very similar focus issues because of my traumatic brain injury.
Would you believe, up until this moment, I never thought about it?
Quantified Task Management. By assigning each task with a Gravity (importance), Priority (urgency), Friction (measurement of resources available to help), and Relativity (how likely the task will take up indefinite amounts of time), I can work out what needs to be done when.
By the way, QTM melds well with other task and time management techniques, like the Eisenhower Matrix, Agile (Gravity=Story Points), Kanban, or the Pomodoro Technique. I've used all four before.
This is a struggle, but Pomodoro sure seems to help!
Uhm...at a certain point, I actually can't. When I get stuck, I switch off to a different task until I feel unstuck. Worst case, I go for a walk.
Pomodoro seems to work for this too. I really need to use that technique more than I do right now! :P
To help me manage my time better, I've been building Timecard. I have plans to add focus reminders and Pomodoro tools into that program this winter and spring.
I have to add one more thing: ADHD, like most so-labeled "mental disabilities", is really a superpower. I firmly believe this is true of many things labeled as disabilities: ADD/ADHD, dyslexia (I have this one), autism spectrum, the list goes on...
Every brain wiring has advantages and disadvantages. Even the "normal" brain has glitches, ironically to the same relative degree as seen with a "disability". The reason this isn't noticed, however, is because society is designed to accept, accommodate, and obscure these normal glitches, whereas the glitches associated with any mind that doesn't fit into the mold of accepted neuro-normality bell curve are considered a sign that Something Is Wrong With You. Fact is, this sort of label is utter garbage.
If you doubt that, think about it: if the overwhelming majority of the population were ADHD for the whole of recorded psychology, do you think we'd really classify it as a disability? Of course not! It would be "normal", and our societal norms and expectations would be crafted around it. The person who couldn't hyper-focus would be considered "disabled" or "abnormal".
Neurodiversity is a beautiful thing, and people with unusual minds have abilities that "normies" can only dream of. (But then, are "normies" really a thing, or is normal just a setting on the dryer?)
Everyone must come to understand and conquer the glitches inherent to their own minds, but don't let those glitches define you. Learn the unique abilities, the superpowers, your ADHD gives you. Make the most of them! Learn how you can leverage your ADHD to do great things.
You're not broken or defective. You're amazing.
Thanks for all your answers! I forgot about some of those, so I'll definitely have to go back to try some of these out. I use the pomodoro technique religiously. And I think QTM would mesh really well with my current journaling system.
I completely agree that neurodiversity is a great and important thing to have in the world and that we can think about and see the world in ways that others might not. There is definitely something to be said for the fact that certain things that we have in "deficit" would not be a problem in a society that was structured differently or had different standards of success. I don't doubt it at all.
I've worked really hard to undo a lot of what my upbringing told me were great failures in my character. To reframe and think of them differently now that I know it was never a lack of willpower but a difference in wiring. That constantly working on things last minute wasn't because I was immature and careless but because it's hard to recognize things that aren't urgent. That my inability to commit to one art style was more being able to see the beauty in so many different art styles and not just me being fickle or indecisive.
It took me a long time to figure out how to word this without completely dismissing your point. Because I do agree with you. But I think it's important for people to understand, neurotypicals and NDs both.
Despite knowing and whole-heartedly agreeing with all of the above sentiments, for me and many others, ADHD is a disorder to manage because it negatively affects our life quality and happiness. It's one thing to be constantly late to meetings and having society judge us as undisciplined and inconsiderate. That's not exactly fair when it's harder for us to conceptualize time and deadlines. But it's different when you're not able to participate in the hobbies you love because there's so much mental resistance to starting a new task. Or not being able to remember that amazing experience shared with your partner only two weeks ago. Or losing a personal item worth a great amount, monetary or not. Or trying to verbalize your thoughts and not being able to remember your words enough to be coherent. The list goes on.
People with ADHD, neurodiverse folks -- we are amazing. We do have great superpowers. But sometimes, those superpowers come at great personal cost.
I totally understand many of those hurdles — quite a few show up because of my head injury, plus several more insidious ones besides. I know what it is to live with glitches.
However, as long as I allowed myself to believe I was somehow "broken" with this new brain, I was putting a governor on my abilities. My brain is not defective; your brain is not defective.
Recognize individual challenges as challenges, but beware labeling the entire set as a disorder.
I agree that those superpowers can come at a great personal cost. I'd even go one step further and say, the greater the superpower, the greater the cost! Some of the most incredible thinkers in our world — folks with mental abilities miles beyond the wildest dreams of a neuronormal individual — are firmly on the autism spectrum. Some cannot function in society without personal assistants to handle nearly all social interaction for them.
Yet in their own space and group, wherein their strengths and challenges are accepted as "completely normal" for the group, this doesn't present the same. Such an environment is tailored more to their strengths than their weaknesses, such that the weaknesses become incidental, "normal", "OK". Particular triggers are minimized for the collective benefit of the group. Strengths are emphasized, celebrated, brought to the surface. Weaknesses are accepted, accounted for, but not given undue attention.
To say that ADHD, AS, dyslexia, and the like are superpowers, rather than disorders, is not to downplay the challenges. Rather, it is to reframe one's perspective of that brain wiring.
YOU ARE NOT BROKEN. You will be able to learn how to overcome the particular challenges your brain wiring presents. You'll always have your kryptonite, if you will, and that may require constant struggle in some areas. However, often we don't have more struggles than the "average person"; we simply have different, more noticeable struggles; remember, many people are afraid to admit to their weaknesses, instead putting on a show of Having It All Together. Indeed, a neuronormal may be able to get away with that, whereas we seldom can. And if you do indeed have more or greater struggles than most others, consider that your potential is proportionately greater as well!
The greatest among us need challenges in our lives, lest we become insufferable twits.
None of that is to downplay your experience. Just take all this from someone who has had to live with the manifest symptoms of dyslexia and (something similar to) ADHD as part of this crazy package deal called a traumatic brain injury. I've lived with everything you've described for over a decade, such that I've had the life experience of both having and lacking those challenges.
When I started to view myself, not as having a disorder, but as having superpowers accompanied by proportionate challenges, that did wonders for my self-esteem and my ability to overcome the challenges I face. As long as I had a disorder, I was a victim; now, I'm an overcomer.
Jason. Unironically and without sarcasm, I will say: You're amazing. You're so supportive and have such a great attitude and perspective on this, and I hope more people can view their neurodivergence the way you do, myself included!
This one is so true. It's so easy to think that everyone else is doing fine so there must definitely be something wrong with you, but not realizing that others are probably thinking the same about you!
I really like the way you framed this. It's a good reminder for myself and others whenever they're in a period of struggle to know that there's a lot of good that can and will come soon once you get past that challenge.
And! Just in case. I want to make clear that I don't think I am broken or that my brain is defective or that any neurodivergent person is. We're not. I love ND brains and yikes I really hope that that didn't come through in my last comment!
I realize it's super important to explain that I'm coming from a point of view where a disorder should only be labeled a disorder (and thus only given "treatment") if your condition or symptoms are causing you and/or the people close to you long-lasting, significant distress. And it's the distress that needs treating. I know that that's not always how others, even (or especially?) others in the psych or neuro field, define a disorder. I think I was taught a slightly more holistic/humanistic approach to diagnoses and I realize that people can't read my mind(!) and that that's not everyone's interpretation of it.
I call the suffering that ADHD causes a person the disorder, not the ADHD itself. If someone is not suffering from their ADHD? What disorder? Nothing to "fix". And jeez, I realize the irony of that considering that "disorder" is in the name. :)
There's such a harmful view on AS and ADHD (and more!) as something that needs to be fixed or cured and everyone immediately defaulting to calling it a disorder that needs fixing is suuuper problematic and causes ND people a lot of pain. So I apologize that I may have come off that way!
I wanted to point out that for me and others some of those ADHD tendencies can cause a lot of suffering, and seeing so many people talk about their ND superpowers can feel a little disheartening because then we're sitting there just wondering "hey, when are these superpowers going to kick in?" and it's a pretty lousy feeling. And sometimes people need outside help to manage their ND tendencies and get to those superpowers and that's okay! It's kind of like when you feel like crap after a lot of other crap has happened and someone tells you to 'stay positive and look at the bright side!' Sometimes it's simply not helpful. Sometimes you just want someone to acknowledge all the crap. And sometimes you need help dealing with all the crap.
I wanted to highlight and show that, yes, there are superpowers, but yes, there is also a lot of pain that people deal with. I want people to know that they're not alone in those struggles and that it's normal and okay. (Especially important for those who might not have the resources available for them to accommodate their ADHD traits in a society that won't accommodate them.) Like you said, a lot of people hide their weaknesses and struggles and I wanted to make the struggle more visible. BUT, taking what you said, it's also important for people to know that they have just as much potential for greatness as they do struggles.
Not to be trite but I'll repeat: We are awesome. We do have superpowers. Sometimes they come at a great personal cost but I know that it'll always be a cost we can overcome.
Wow that was a hugely long ramble. Thank you for your comments and for reading all this!
Thank you so much! I really appreciate your kind words.
Believe me, I know a thing or ten about hugely long rambles. ;) It's not a problem; I appreciate everything you're saying.
I’m sorry to burst your bubble.
But unmanaged ADHD is stress incarnate, it’s constant noise followed by brief moments relaxing while you crash.
Sure it comes with uncanny creativity, but without control it’s a pointless comfort that you can’t use the way you want because of the noise.
If ADHD people were not broken we would not call it an illness. :)
Unmanaged anything is stressful.
It's not the "ADHD" part that's the problem. It's the "unmanaged" part. Ergo everything else I said.
First of all, my apollogies if i was a bit rash before.
I read what i wrote, figured i might have come off strongly.
I disagree putting it under the neurodiversity umbrella or calling it a superpower tho,
and i think thats what got my nads going.
It normalises a disability that already have so may problems getting recognised because of misinformation, and that upset me a bit. :I
I understand how that can come across that way, but this is not coming from a "neuronormal". I've had to overcome hellacious symptoms from my TBI, including many in common with dyslexia, ADD, ADHD, autism spectrum, and more — and, on top of that, a severe anxiety disorder to boot! I know what it is to struggle, to not be taken seriously, to be misperceived, to have horrible, no-good, awful days where I can do nothing but lay in bed wishing I could stop existing.
As long as I allowed myself to be a victim, wherein I had this monster of a disorder that ruined my life, I was miserable. When I came to understand it as I described, it empowered me to not only overcome the difficulties and capitalize on the strengths, but to better advocate myself.
Consider these two contrasting ways of representing a condition to a supervisor/hiring manager/professor/someone else in power:
I suffer from
<horrible diability>that means I can't do X, Y, Z.I bring abilities A, B, C to your team! Because of this, I also have some unique challenges: X, Y, Z, which I need
<specific accomodations>to overcome.In #1, the speaker comes across as a victim, or worse, a liability. They're defined by "I can't".
In #2, the speaker owns both their strengths and weaknesses. They are not a victim of their weaknesses, but have steps they can follow to overcome. They're defined by "I can".
If anything, #2 better represents any diability. If you focus only on the "can't"s, then ADHD is nothing more than "hyperactive, can't focus on anything". TBIs are nothing more than "no social skills, anxiety attacks out of the blue". Neither are always true.
Each of us can choose to be a victim or a victor. From the past decade of not only combating my own challenges, but helping others through theirs, I can tell you that perspective #2 is the literal key to overcoming and being heard.
Although I'm not medically diagnosed, I do deal with the issues that are associated with inattentive ADHD.
I definitely agree with the second part of your post, where disorders can be a super power when used right! It seems that I started programming exactly because of the hyper-focus induced by ADHD.
For me most effective coding workflow is to have a quick way to test the newly added code and see a visual response to validate that it works as expected. Seeing instant results from newly added code can keep me focused on tough problems for a long time.
Yes! Instant results definitely help! I think that's why front-end work got me so easily hooked at first since it was so visual and you could actually see what you did. But I hadn't considered that tests do the same thing! Thanks for that insight!
On that note, if you're working on less visual code, use test-driven development! And, by TDD, I really mean it: write actual, granular unit tests first, and then code. Seeing the lights turning green as you work gives that same instant, ongoing feedback as web development.
I have ADHD as-well and I just love you positivity. I've just recently learned NOT to see of the downfalls of my "disability" and not to even refer to it as that, but learn what my strengths are and what my "uniqueness" is.
WOW you hit it on the head with that last part about ADHD being a superpower. I've definitely found it useful.
There are lots of developers working with ADHD.
It's something that can and should be managed.
Mostly like any kind of health related issue.
I was myself working with some brillant people with ADHD,
it was some of the best experience in my life.
The real issue is that people are ashamed to talk about it.
So you are doing something good by doing it.
Thanks! This is really encouraging to hear. I definitely hesitated putting it out there so I understand! I plan to talk about it more in the near future so I hope I can help reduce that shame.
Shame evaporates rather quickly when you find the safe space and the right people and you talk about it. so basically you did the right thing and should simply continue to do so!
@aidiri youtube.com/watch?v=2fD2BvS3Aqw
Start working right away in the morning and don't open anything distracting. If you have any choice in what you work on then try to drive your tasks to be things that interest you or else work to find something interesting in the work you must do. I often find myself keeping a senior team member that I can ask to prioritize my tasks. Simply asking which task is more important can help you form a knowledge base for how to prioritize things. If you need it, then get medicated. My recommendation with medication is to use instant release I. The lowest dose that you can and use it for when you have more things that need done. If you aren't pressed for time then try to get things done without the meds (if possible). And the most important thing about using medication sparingly is to build habits that help you to be more productive. Bullet Journaling can become a focus, but if it is helping you to get work done more efficiently then the time spent setting up your journal and doing migrations can be beneficial. At the end of the day, everyone is different and you have to figure out what works best for you.
Be sure to join in the community over at reddit.com/r/ADHD_Programmers
Thanks for the tips! I hadn't considered getting a senior team member involved in helping prioritize tasks but I think that's a great idea. That way you've got that spare mental energy to use on other things instead.
I definitely use the 'work in the morning' trick a lot. My best days are days I wake up hours before anyone else so I'm working alone in the dark but without any of the normal distractions.
My bullet journal is my best friend.
I usually have trouble rotating through multiple tasks throughout a day but have used it on days I have trouble first starting/initiating work on a task.
I've definitely heard that people's ADHD manifests differently over time. Mine definitely have. I'm trying to view it as a constant change and growth as you move through life adapting to your changing needs.
I used to struggle big time with this. However this may sound dumb but ADHD has made me a more productive programmer than normal because I've learned how to work with it and use it to my advantage. First, my ADHD keeps me from doing one thing for too long but if I immediately start on coding for example my productivity is insane. (It sometimes quickly drops off though.)
I make sure to set a definite goal every session. For example collision detection between entities. I tell myself "make this happen." And then reward it with a leisure activity (typically a videogame).
I tend to have to very frequently alternate because of my interest loss (which isn't limited to coding, it affects leisure just as much).
I typically don't get overly focused on one thing because I make sure to write exactly what is needed and plan it out beforehand. Some things take longer than others, and I alot for that based on days.
I totally relate to all this. I've become a super planner because I know I will forget everything. I just will not remember dates or deadlines or tasks. But my planner sure will! So I've definitely become much more organized just by trying to manage the inattentive part of my ADHD. And in a similar way it's made me a better programmer.
I have interest loss too but because switching and starting new tasks are just as hard alternating doesn't really work for me. I make use of deadlines a lot, sometimes even having other people give deadlines for me to give me the urgency my brain needs to realize that I need to get something done now. Doing that I can usually spend my time working mostly on one or two things for a long time (using that hyperfocus when I can) until they're done before moving on. So less work trying to mentally switch, and even if I lose interest that deadline is still hovering over my shoulder enough to get me going.