story of failure

I am absolutely tired of failures, thoughts of suicide haunt me constantly. I will turn 24 this year, and over all these years of my life there has been a huge number of failures, losses, and wasted time. I started learning programming at 18, and I even learned C++ and Python and was even able to create my first simple desktop applications. But I had an idea to create a social network application, but it was supposed to be a super app like WeChat, where a person could do absolutely anything — from chatting with friends and shitposting to buying groceries for home and stocks for their investment portfolio or even crypto if they want to get scammed. Everything for everyone, as they say. But you know what? This fucking idea didn’t work at all. Nothing worked, not even a little bit. But I didn’t give up, because my father simply died while I was going through this life quest. As they say in all those stupid books about successful success, nobody succeeds on the first try. So I decided to try again. I created a crypto wallet and again, fuck, the same outcome — failure, in one word. Then I created my own forum for those interested in Web3, but you know what? Everything went to shit again, and except for my classmates, nobody subscribed or registered on my forum at all — literally nobody. Now I have a wife and a son whom I have to feed, but I, like a real imbecile with something seriously wrong in my head, decided to take on yet another venture and created my own platform for connecting various AIs to any applications. But fuck, you know what? I have my first 2 users, and thoughts of suicide do not leave me at all. Thoughts of killing myself chase me throughout the day, as if my life is already over, because in fact it is. Human life is a long wait for death, and it is absolutely absurd and leads nowhere at all except to fucking FAILURES, in which I am drowning up to my neck. I no longer want to continue this fucking marathon of miserable life moments. Fuck all of this.