You know, I've been reading a lot of Bob lately:
So you’ve probably got some complaints, questions, objections, etc. Let me see if I can anticipate them.
OMG! All Those Parentheses
How old are you…?
You might as well go check Bob out.
I'll be here just jammin' while someone pays anthropic to read it …
… pammpammpamm papparamm agda papparamm …
🎵 Amazing hand dexterity 🎵
🎵 Flagrant misuse of banhammery 🎵
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
So this' the review eh …
Now, I know that you are having a hell of a good time …
And … but you possibly might be saying oh you know …
… that the attached pics are a little bit too …
… too libreoffice …
If you start getting those thoughts in your mind, just think …
… think of one thing …
Uncle Bob.
I guarantee you, if you went to an Uncle Bob lecture you'd be spending a truckload more money.
… and you wouldn't have …
… um …
… I don't know … what's that toddler thing …
… yeah: you wouldn't have nearly as much fun.
I guarantee you, Bob wouldn't let you bring Twitch and CS2 into his ted talk either.
So this is the post. It's cringe. We established that…
The song is called Here Come The Toddlers.
Me, of course, being a Toddler.
But I honestly believe there's a little bit of Toddler in each and every one of you.
So, if you can join in with me, Gödel, Church, Turing, Richard S. Bird, the girl on the pic in her bunny slippers, and Bob's O(N^2) …
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
Now, if this was left-pad …
… you folks would be npm i a lot harder than you are right now …
… so pretend it's left-pad, and give me some bigger Here They Comes …
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
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🎵 Here They Come 🎵
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
Now, I don't want to sass any Crows…
… but Skirling Pass was a lot more honest than that …
…
…
…
… but that's quite whiteknight.
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
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🎵 Here They Come 🎵
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
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🎵 Here They Come 🎵
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
🎵 Here They Come 🎵
So, in order to address YOU directly, dear Reader...
Yes YOU, the biological being gawking at this article.
Can you take Advent of Code 2024 Day 02 Part B, and write code which runs a bit faster than Bob's?
Please-pretty-please, Mr. SOLID Senior 10x dev whiteknight Crow!
(Some context, since Dev.to people rarely get metaphors and end up banning me: This platform deleted 8 articles from me related to Math and Computer Science, simply because people have severe impostor syndrome and can't tolerate sass. Why do I keep doing it? Well, I still think in a world dominated by kayfabe, nihilism, self-lies and dug-in heels, the only thing which has a chance of cutting through that facade is sass. Hence, I decided to continue sassing you into self-reflecting on statements like 'Java has a strong type system'. I mean... you surely must know, Crow, that Java, Rust etc. were enterprise watered down, specifically to enable blue-collar assembly line work... I mean you Java Crows must know about Pizza. Yes... Pizza was a language which got watered down and now you know it as Java Generics... You surely know this, Crow, on the top of that fancy Design Pattern Wall you have, right?! I could've used OpenToonz to make you an anime waifupillow girl on those images I attached. Instead I made you a sweaty armpit, dorky drawn, LibreOffice, non-catmull-rom bezier curve girl. Because that is reality. Computer Science is not cool, never was, never will be. Computer Science is a dorky, cringe safe haven for those who don't really fit in. Remember Atari games? Remember Monkey Island? Grim Fandango? Remember Star Craft I? The Secret Cow Level? Yes, Crow, that is true North. Do you truly love this social media poser, Dev.to cargo cult world, where everyone is looking sane and well-combed on Facebook, while IRL Brexit, Hormuz, Brian Thomson, Pelicot etc. is happening and Google knows more about your own kid or BF/GF than you... or would you prefer those simple, no-pretense, regular Mondays we used to have back in the days?)
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