Distributed backend specialist. Perfectly happy playing second fiddle—it means I get to chase fun ideas, dodge meetings, and break things no one told me to touch, all without anyone questioning it. 😇
Perfect! I’ll send you a personal invite to my very first “vibe coded” app as soon as our work OS gods approve it (ETA: maybe this decade ⏳). Was it flawless? Nope. I had never touched AI before. We took some messy loops until I learned how to tell it what I wanted. Then it started tracking itself. Bit by bit, I learned exactly what AI could — and couldn’t — do, and how to use both to my advantage. ⚡
"something with limited resources"
Oh, you mean like JVM-OS-layer deadlocks that birth immortal zombie threads? 🧟♂️ The kind even GC refuses to touch? I'm talking years of survivors, mocking every fresh deploy. Add in the kind of trace dump that’s pure nightmare fuel: Spring + Hikari + JDBC. That “unsolvable” mess? AI helped me track it down, errors and all — in under three days. Stabilization fix included. (No exorcist required… though I seriously considered it. 😅)
"give it some new language"
Sure. Go? Rust? COBOL? Klingon? Elvish? Morse code? 📡 Whatever. I stick with post-VB because I value my sanity, but code is code. Nobody’s lightning-fast in a language they haven’t touched in years or ever. That’s why I make AI do the heavy lifting: comb through the official docs, organize them into neat little input/output rules, and then I set the standard. You know when something smells wrong — then you check it, prove it, and often find a better way.
"with a private API. And watch AI invent new methods"
If you’re sitting there watching AI hallucinate without stopping it, that’s not an AI problem. That’s a you problem. The second it goes off-script, I slam the brakes — hard — fix whatever led it astray, /clear, re-prompt. Done.
Letting AI free-range through production code is like giving a raccoon the keys to your kitchen and acting shocked when it’s eating spaghetti on the counter. 🍝🦝🤷♀️
In just the last two sprints, AI has helped me:
Set repo architecture standards where none existed 🏗️
Automate & enforce contract APIs no one had nailed before
Rewrite an email so I didn’t get fired (yes, that was literally in the prompt) 📩
Draft bulletproof ADR proposals
Document legacy architecture without losing my will to live
Bonus: Leonardo even generated a “Time to Retire!” banner for that Confluence page 🎨
This summer, it pinch-hit as teacher/mentor/test giver for my intern when I got pulled into a last-minute war room. (I wasn’t entirely sure that would work... until he quizzed me later. We’re even.)
Outside of work? That mystery song stuck in my head for days? I tossed my nonsense clues at AI — “2014? white mountain… feet? fur?” — and it nailed it in under three seconds. (Dirty Paws, Of Monsters and Men. Second guess. I wasn’t even 40% right. 🎶) Seriously — Google that and see how long it takes without AI.
So am I an “AI loser”? Fine — I'll take it. But I’m also twice as productive, documenting 5× better, and killing bad ideas before they waste time. AI’s not a magic button, and it shouldn’t replace you. But refusing to touch it? That’s how you stay on dial-up while the rest of us have already moved on.
I’ll take my chances with the DeLorean. 🚘🚀
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RE: My challenge to those AI losers
✋ You rang? Cool. Pull up a chair. 🪑 Let’s talk.
Perfect! I’ll send you a personal invite to my very first “vibe coded” app as soon as our work OS gods approve it (ETA: maybe this decade ⏳). Was it flawless? Nope. I had never touched AI before. We took some messy loops until I learned how to tell it what I wanted. Then it started tracking itself. Bit by bit, I learned exactly what AI could — and couldn’t — do, and how to use both to my advantage. ⚡
Oh, you mean like JVM-OS-layer deadlocks that birth immortal zombie threads? 🧟♂️ The kind even GC refuses to touch? I'm talking years of survivors, mocking every fresh deploy. Add in the kind of trace dump that’s pure nightmare fuel: Spring + Hikari + JDBC. That “unsolvable” mess? AI helped me track it down, errors and all — in under three days. Stabilization fix included. (No exorcist required… though I seriously considered it. 😅)
Sure. Go? Rust? COBOL? Klingon? Elvish? Morse code? 📡 Whatever. I stick with post-VB because I value my sanity, but code is code. Nobody’s lightning-fast in a language they haven’t touched in years or ever. That’s why I make AI do the heavy lifting: comb through the official docs, organize them into neat little input/output rules, and then I set the standard. You know when something smells wrong — then you check it, prove it, and often find a better way.
If you’re sitting there watching AI hallucinate without stopping it, that’s not an AI problem. That’s a you problem. The second it goes off-script, I slam the brakes — hard — fix whatever led it astray,
/clear, re-prompt. Done.Letting AI free-range through production code is like giving a raccoon the keys to your kitchen and acting shocked when it’s eating spaghetti on the counter. 🍝🦝🤷♀️
In just the last two sprints, AI has helped me:
This summer, it pinch-hit as teacher/mentor/test giver for my intern when I got pulled into a last-minute war room. (I wasn’t entirely sure that would work... until he quizzed me later. We’re even.)
Outside of work? That mystery song stuck in my head for days? I tossed my nonsense clues at AI — “2014? white mountain… feet? fur?” — and it nailed it in under three seconds. (Dirty Paws, Of Monsters and Men. Second guess. I wasn’t even 40% right. 🎶) Seriously — Google that and see how long it takes without AI.
So am I an “AI loser”? Fine — I'll take it. But I’m also twice as productive, documenting 5× better, and killing bad ideas before they waste time. AI’s not a magic button, and it shouldn’t replace you. But refusing to touch it? That’s how you stay on dial-up while the rest of us have already moved on.
I’ll take my chances with the DeLorean. 🚘🚀