You send the proposal. Nobody replies. You take that as a green light and start building.
Three weeks later someone senior sees it and says, wait, we discussed this and decided not to go that way.
You did not get agreement. You got silence, and you translated it into the answer you wanted.
This happens constantly, and it is not because people are careless. It is because silence is genuinely ambiguous and we resolve ambiguity in whichever direction lets us keep moving.
Silence can mean yes, fine, go ahead. It can also mean I have not read it. I read it on my phone and forgot. I have concerns but not enough energy to write them up today. I assumed someone else would object. I do not think this decision is mine to make.
Those all look identical in a channel with no replies.
So stop treating an empty thread as a signal, and start asking for something you can actually read.
Set an explicit close. I am going to proceed on Thursday unless someone objects. That converts silence into a decision people have consented to, and it gives the quiet ones a deadline that prompts them to speak.
Name the people whose agreement you actually need, individually. A message addressed to everyone is addressed to nobody, and the person whose opinion matters most is usually the busiest one in the room.
Ask a question that cannot be answered by ignoring it. Not, any thoughts. Instead, does this break anything on your side.
And when the decision matters, go and have a two minute conversation. A voice call gets you a real reaction, including the hesitation before the yes, which is often the most informative part of the whole exchange.
The reverse applies to you as well. When you stay quiet in a thread because you are busy or unsure, understand that you are being read as agreement, and that you will be held to it later.
If you disagree, say so now, briefly, even if it is only to say you need a day to think.
Silence is comfortable for everybody and it commits nobody.
Get it in words.
– Asael Shinder
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