I thought I'd have found my next role by now.

When I finished my degree I thought I might take a break or maybe find a job soon after. I wasn't too worried about the job search because I had already experienced getting a job. I thought, "It might take some time but I'll figure it out."

I had already worked as a Junior Frontend Developer.

That experience changed how I looked at development. I learned things that I couldn't learn from courses or tutorials— from watching senior developers think, structure problems and write code in ways I hadn't considered before.

I had a routine.

I had a team.

I was learning.

I was earning.

Probably most importantly I had confidence that I could take on the next project.

Then the company went through problems and my job ended.

I knew unemployment was a phase that could happen. I just didn't know how long that phase would last.

Its now been than 8–9 months.

Honestly this period has been harder than I expected.

There's the pressure.

The uncertainty.

The. Rejections.

The loss of confidence.

The feeling that time is moving much faster than I'm able to.

Sometimes after taking a break from coding I don't even feel like opening my editor.

Then I feel guilty for not being productive.

Then I think about how AI and technology are changing and wonder if I'm falling further behind.

It's a cycle.

I'm still trying.

I'm working on projects. I'm strengthening the fundamentals of things I've already learned. I'm learning technologies like Svelte and PixiJS and exploring game development.

Perhaps the biggest thing I've learned during this period isn't another framework or programming language.

It's that there is more to life than trying to become a better developer.

I've had time to learn things outside of this career too—to slow down think and understand myself a little better.

I don't know when this phase will end.

I don't know what the next job will look like.

I don't have some motivational lesson or perfect conclusion to share.

I'm somewhere between uncertainty and hope.

One thing I do know:

I'm still here still learning, still building and I haven't given up.

Maybe that's enough, for now.