Judging by the lack of answers here, this is still a relatively taboo topic for the intelligentsia, even after the two-year global awakening during the pandemic.
For me, being a software engineer led me to greatly improving my mental power. Working on mathematical models, and huge information systems sharpened my logical abilities, and my abilities to probe the limits of what is knowable.
Along with those mental powers, came increased depression, frustration, isolation and anger. When I was very identified with this powerful mind, I believed I knew everything, and I was depressed at how unintelligent the world appeared. Nobody understood what I understood. I felt alone. I saw the abuse of the environment, the history of genocide and many other atrocities as signs that humans were doomed.
At the peak of this depression, my father killed himself.
The pain, despair and isolation I felt during that time completely destroyed my sense of self. I couldn't hold that much pain, and I fell apart.
Quite mysteriously, after six months I began to feel joy again for the first time in over a decade. I stopped taking life for granted. I realized that every moment is precious. I began to have compassion for all beings, recognizing that suffering is universal.
At this point, I started reading a lot from the Vedic yoga traditions, and the Tibetan Buddhist traditions. I fell in love with listening to Ram Das speak, and I found the beginnings of a spiritual path. I began meditation and doing yoga daily. After a couple years, I found Autobiography of a Yogi, which had a further impact on my spiritual life.
Ever since, my life has been a flowering tree of exquisite joy. I dare say, I'm an even better software engineer now that I have more balance.
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Judging by the lack of answers here, this is still a relatively taboo topic for the intelligentsia, even after the two-year global awakening during the pandemic.
For me, being a software engineer led me to greatly improving my mental power. Working on mathematical models, and huge information systems sharpened my logical abilities, and my abilities to probe the limits of what is knowable.
Along with those mental powers, came increased depression, frustration, isolation and anger. When I was very identified with this powerful mind, I believed I knew everything, and I was depressed at how unintelligent the world appeared. Nobody understood what I understood. I felt alone. I saw the abuse of the environment, the history of genocide and many other atrocities as signs that humans were doomed.
At the peak of this depression, my father killed himself.
The pain, despair and isolation I felt during that time completely destroyed my sense of self. I couldn't hold that much pain, and I fell apart.
Quite mysteriously, after six months I began to feel joy again for the first time in over a decade. I stopped taking life for granted. I realized that every moment is precious. I began to have compassion for all beings, recognizing that suffering is universal.
At this point, I started reading a lot from the Vedic yoga traditions, and the Tibetan Buddhist traditions. I fell in love with listening to Ram Das speak, and I found the beginnings of a spiritual path. I began meditation and doing yoga daily. After a couple years, I found Autobiography of a Yogi, which had a further impact on my spiritual life.
Ever since, my life has been a flowering tree of exquisite joy. I dare say, I'm an even better software engineer now that I have more balance.