Most cold emails fail before the prospect reads them. Not because the offer is bad — because the email is a wall of text asking for a decision too early. The fix is boring: a structure short enough to read in 15 seconds, with one job per line.
Here's the 8-line structure I use for every cold email I send.
Line 1 — The reason you're writing (one sentence)
Not "I hope this finds you well." A real reason: a new role, a funding round, a pricing change, a job post you saw. If you have no reason, you haven't researched enough yet.
Example: "Saw you're hiring a second AE — congrats on the growth."
Line 2 — One relevant observation about their company
This is where generic dies. One concrete thing about their business that shows you actually looked.
Example: "Your pricing page lists three tiers but no demo link — I noticed because most PLG teams convert 2-3x better with a demo CTA above the fold."
Line 3 — Who you are, in half a line
Name + one credibility marker only. Nobody reads a paragraph bio in a cold email.
Example: "I'm Chris — I built an AI cold email writer used by 40+ B2B founders."
Line 4 — The value, stated as a result not a feature
Features are for landing pages. In a cold email, say what changes for them.
Example: "We cut drafting time from 30 minutes per email to 90 seconds, with deliverability scored before send."
Line 5 — The proof, one piece maximum
A number, a named customer, a screenshot reference. One. Not a case study chapter.
Example: "Early users see ~35% open rates on fresh domains they were previously sending from Gmail."
Line 6 — The single question
One question, answerable in 30 seconds. This is the whole point of email #1 — you're not selling, you're opening a conversation.
Example: "Would it help if I drafted one of your next 5 outreach emails with this structure?"
Line 7 — The soft exit
Give them an out so the email doesn't feel like a trap. Paradoxically, exits raise reply rates.
Example: "If you're all set on outreach, just hit reply with 'pass' and I'll leave it there."
Line 8 — Signature
Name, company, one link. Two links max across the whole email.
The rules that make it work
- One line per job. If a line does two things, split it or cut it.
- Under 150 words. If it's longer, you haven't decided what matters.
- No attachments, no images, no tracking links. Plain text wins.
- Send at a human time. 9-11am recipient time, Tuesday-Thursday.
- Follow up or it never existed. 80% of replies come after send #2 or #3.
The template
Subject: quick question about [specific signal]
Hi [First name],
[Sentence — why now, one specific signal]
[One observation about their company that proves you looked]
I'm [name] — [half-line credibility marker].
[One line: the result they'd get]
[One line of proof — a number or named case]
[One question, answerable in 30 seconds]
If this isn't a priority right now, reply 'pass' and I'll drop it.
[Name]
[Company]
Steal it, adapt it, and test it against whatever you're sending now. The structure won't win every reply — but it removes the reasons people delete you before they've decided.
Top comments (1)
Line 1 doing the real work is right, and I'd add one thing: the reason has to be checkable in under 10 seconds by the sender, or it turns into the same generic opener with a trigger event pasted on. Where the reason is a technology they just adopted, it also tells you the one question to ask in line 6.