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Discussion on: Why The F**k Won't You Answer My Email?

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craser profile image
Chris Raser

Ugh. Yep. Been there. It makes me crazy. Super-frustrating. You totally shouldn't have to deal with this.

First, if you're not already, be super-concrete in your email about what you need from Alex: "Can you please set up new login credentials for the Frob service, and whitelist IP 123.23.45.223? Thanks in advance!" The less analysis Alex needs to do, the more likely they are to take action. I generally send a bullet-point list of what I need.

If that doesn't work, then you need to figure out what emotional reason they have for ignoring you, and get them past it. Go in person, and bearing gifts, and make Alex really feel that they're appreciated, and that you're grateful for their help. This helps defuse a multitude of psychological/emotional blockages.

If you haven't already read it, my all-time favorite book on workplace psychology is actually about kids, because we're all grown babies: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen so Kids Will Talk.

If Alex is remote (or if you are), then a phone call or video call is the next best thing.

And sometimes, there's simply no time to play nice. If CC-ing Alex's boss & the PM gets things moving, so be it.

Good luck! And if you figure out how to get Alex moving, let us know!

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antoinette0x53 profile image
Antoinette Maria

This was a great response! Thank you. I ended up bumping into Alex (serendipity) and we spoke in person. Turns out their team is swamped with work. I personally believe it is still polite to respond and say that is the case and you'll get back to someone when you can, but everyone has different ways of doing things and I'm not perfect at email either.

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craser profile image
Chris Raser

Glad you liked it! After I posted, I was worried I'd responded with problem-solving talk when really you just needed to vent for a sec and were totally on top of it. :P

Glad things are working out!

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peiche profile image
Paul

Even if I'm totally swamped, I try to respond with something so the person knows I'm not ignoring or avoiding them.

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irene_soave profile image
Irene Soave

sorry, but if one has to respond an useless "ok" line to every email one gets, one should rather hire a secretary or give up even trying to think about what they're doing. is anyone here actually in charge of something important? bc if you are you simply have no time or room in your brain for this!