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Damien Sedgwick
Damien Sedgwick

Posted on • Updated on • Originally published at

Feeling lost is not only for beginners

Below are my current thoughts and feelings regarding development as a career. I wanted to share them publicly because I feel like it is important to show that even though I have been a developer for a few years now, it is entirely normal to feel a little deflated or burnt out.

Anyway, this is a kind of thoughts out loud post, but I feel like it would be good to hear other peoples feelings and thoughts as I think only good can come from showing some vulnerability from time to time and learning how to deal with those feelings and thoughts.

I am, at this moment in time, the most successful I have ever been. Not just in this career but any career I have ever had. But at the same time I have never felt so lost in where to go or what to do next.

I know that I love being a developer, the people I have met and the growth that I have experienced would not have been possible if I were not in this industry.

My trouble is, I get bored very easily, and I am always trying to better myself. I am competitive with myself, and I find it hard to stand still and appreciate the moment. Being content is not something I do very well and most recently I have found myself infuriated by the most little of things at work (not a good sign I don't think), and I think it partly comes down to always expecting more or better for myself.

My motivation at the moment seems to come and go in waves, one minute I am super into learning or doing something and the next I have no interest in doing it in the slightest. This could be burnout and or depression but in general, I don't feel depressed as everything else seems to be going really well.

A part of my issue is that I don't really want to work in web development forever, or work on products that I don't really care about or believe in. I would ultimately like to become an iOS engineer as I am an Apple fanboy deep down (haters gonna hate), but I feel so stuck in the sense that changing from web developer to an iOS developer seems impossible, or at least it does for me at the moment.

Is it just me? Or does anyone else feel lost?

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