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I'm Still Not One of the Guys

Eevis on March 08, 2024

As #WeCoded is a month-long this year, I'll post a couple of blog posts during this month. This post is the second of these posts. In 2021, I wrot...
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Ingo Steinke, web developer • Edited

Thanks for your post, and thanks for still not being one of the guys!

Being a white old(er) men often perceived as a tech bro/dude/hipster myself, I had been reluctant to talk about my own perspective in the past. Aren't we the ones who already talk too much and get quoted and published everywhere? But if I don't speak up, that won't stop the other guys from talking and mansplaining, so maybe I should talk about myself, my privileges, industry culture and its hidden biases. Maybe I should also talk about the parts of myself that I had tried to suppress after being bullied in school, when I decided to join a football club and tried to "be a man" because I thought that I had to.

Trying not to be one of the guys as a boy is not easy, but sometimes you don't even have a choice. There was a sad film recently, Close, about two boys getting bullied at school because of their close friendship, and there is J.J. Bola's Mask off - Masculinity Redefined (which is called "don't be a man" in the German translation).

So I think we need to think, speak, but most importantly, we need to listen. If someone does not look like "one of the guys" and not matching the "culture fit" when applying for a tech position, or someone stops saying anything in meetings although I know they're competent, then it's time to question the status quo and challenge the men's world and the guys' culture!

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Eevis

So I think we need to think, speak, but most importantly, we need to listen. If someone does not look like "one of the guys" and not matching the "culture fit" when applying for a tech position, or someone stops saying anything in meetings although I know they're competent, then it's time to question the status quo and challenge the men's world and the guys' culture!

I think this captures allyship in a really good way!

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Mike Talbot ⭐ • Edited

I remember your 2021 post well, in fact, I've cited it several times with my teams over the intervening years. Thanks again for posting it.

Sadly my teams are still male-dominated (80% male), despite the business I work for being majority female-led, and that's down to that bias keeping talented people out of the technology workforce. I'll strive to make sure I welcome diversity in the places where I have influence, hopefully, the pendulum keeps swinging the right way.

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Eevis

Thank you! And I'm really happy to hear that it has been of use!

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Nathan Hedglin

I bet mostly men apply. That isn't a sad thing.

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Elizabeth

Thank you for your post, I particularly appreciate how you've provided alternative words to use. I find myself always using the word "guys" because people always say it's gender natural even though I wasn't comfortable using the word. I like the sound of "Hey folks".

This was educative, thank you so much for sharing this even after the response from your first post.

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Eevis

Thank you so much!

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Ekaterine Mitagvaria

Thanks for sharing your story. Very slowly and little by little but such small stories will raise awareness and make other people think more before say/do something!

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Eevis

Thank you!

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Michael Di Prisco

Me and circa other 40 devs are trying to create an Open Source book and inclusive language is one of our mantras, thanks for sharing!