Thanks for your post, and thanks for still not being one of the guys!
Being a white old(er) men often perceived as a tech bro/dude/hipster myself, I had been reluctant to talk about my own perspective in the past. Aren't we the ones who already talk too much and get quoted and published everywhere? But if I don't speak up, that won't stop the other guys from talking and mansplaining, so maybe I should talk about myself, my privileges, industry culture and its hidden biases. Maybe I should also talk about the parts of myself that I had tried to suppress after being bullied in school, when I decided to join a football club and tried to "be a man" because I thought that I had to.
Trying not to be one of the guys as a boy is not easy, but sometimes you don't even have a choice. There was a sad film recently, Close, about two boys getting bullied at school because of their close friendship, and there is J.J. Bola's Mask off - Masculinity Redefined (which is called "don't be a man" in the German translation).
So I think we need to think, speak, but most importantly, we need to listen. If someone does not look like "one of the guys" and not matching the "culture fit" when applying for a tech position, or someone stops saying anything in meetings although I know they're competent, then it's time to question the status quo and challenge the men's world and the guys' culture!
So I think we need to think, speak, but most importantly, we need to listen. If someone does not look like "one of the guys" and not matching the "culture fit" when applying for a tech position, or someone stops saying anything in meetings although I know they're competent, then it's time to question the status quo and challenge the men's world and the guys' culture!
I think this captures allyship in a really good way!
For further actions, you may consider blocking this person and/or reporting abuse
We're a place where coders share, stay up-to-date and grow their careers.
Thanks for your post, and thanks for still not being one of the guys!
Being a white old(er) men often perceived as a tech bro/dude/hipster myself, I had been reluctant to talk about my own perspective in the past. Aren't we the ones who already talk too much and get quoted and published everywhere? But if I don't speak up, that won't stop the other guys from talking and mansplaining, so maybe I should talk about myself, my privileges, industry culture and its hidden biases. Maybe I should also talk about the parts of myself that I had tried to suppress after being bullied in school, when I decided to join a football club and tried to "be a man" because I thought that I had to.
Trying not to be one of the guys as a boy is not easy, but sometimes you don't even have a choice. There was a sad film recently, Close, about two boys getting bullied at school because of their close friendship, and there is J.J. Bola's Mask off - Masculinity Redefined (which is called "don't be a man" in the German translation).
So I think we need to think, speak, but most importantly, we need to listen. If someone does not look like "one of the guys" and not matching the "culture fit" when applying for a tech position, or someone stops saying anything in meetings although I know they're competent, then it's time to question the status quo and challenge the men's world and the guys' culture!
I think this captures allyship in a really good way!