Consider this a rather silly question from someone who does not know much, but is it so much of an issue to change your legal name and then go to all the companies using it and changing it there? If you'd first change your legal name you would then have an official document proving that change. It should be possible for these companies to change the name in that case.
Again, I don't want this to sound ignorant, but I think it may solve some of the problems you described.
And of course, the changes in those systems you described are important and need to happen - but I'm not sure this is something which will happen fast, and in the meantime...
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Consider this a rather silly question from someone who does not know much, but is it so much of an issue to change your legal name and then go to all the companies using it and changing it there? If you'd first change your legal name you would then have an official document proving that change. It should be possible for these companies to change the name in that case.
Again, I don't want this to sound ignorant, but I think it may solve some of the problems you described.
And of course, the changes in those systems you described are important and need to happen - but I'm not sure this is something which will happen fast, and in the meantime...