I'm not 100% sure how to start this and it most definitely will be a mess but here we go. I spent a decade working my way through the hospitality industry, working in places with all levels of professionalism. From little cafes to multi restaurant family companies a few things were always the same. food, cooks and hard work.
It started in a small restaurant where I was hired on as front of house staff but as an 18 year old, Much like other 18 year olds I wasn't the most professional looking or acting. Very quickly the owners were ready to cut me loose as they didn't see me aligning with their brand/image. This is where the Chef of this small new start up told them maybe this kid could be of use to him. Quickly I was sent to the back and had a big ol' French knife in my hands a classic 50lb bag of onions put in front of me. With my only experience working with food being from my home kitchen where I'd like to make french toast and Kraft dinner, I was a bit lost and very obviously terrified to screw up. Chef Alex was a great guy but a very typical kind of cook from the era of Pirate like kitchen mentality. He knew I was greener than the parsley in the walk-in but to this day I feel like he saw a little something in that kid back then. that or he just really wanted an extra set of prep hands in kitchen. Whatever it was, this was where it all started.
Somewhere between that job and the next working as a prep cook in a delicatessen which wont be named, I had most assuredly caught the bug for kitchen life. This delicatessen is where I'd form one of the most meaningful friendships (you know who you are) to this day and one that would eventually lead me to Dev (don't worry we'll get there). Not only making connections but also learning and honing skills I would eventually use to make it farther into the belly of the beast called kitchen life.
Much like the first time having a french knife in my hands for the first time working as a lowly prep one day my Chef ran down into the prep dungeon (yes, dungeon. It was in a basement) and yelled at me "GET UPSTAIRS YOU'RE WORKING BRUNCH ON GARDE MANGER". This was probably one of the best and worst experiences in my life, well maybe up to that point. I didn't do much there, made a few salads, sandwiches, make toast and set garnishes on plates for the Hot line where my chef worked. Im not sure if it was having toast thrown at my face or having my chef yell at me for 3-4 hours straight but after that shift I felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. It was like I had just climbed a mountain and was at the top yelling about my success. This is where the unhealthy addiction started, kind of like a competition but you were only really competing with the chit printer and maybe a fellow cook on who can cut their mise en place faster without cutting any finger tips off (true story, also no fingers were harmed... well at least not during that).
Over the years I went from kitchen to kitchen, being a line cook learning more and more working my ass off. If you didn't know kitchen life can have some super long hours, short turn arounds (I'm sure you all know but clopens) and little to no time for a personal life outside of the people you are with all day in the restaurant. All that aside I was in love, passionate and willing to give everything to work my way farther into and up the food chain. I got a few items of my own creation on menus at places I'd worked and eventually helped my Chef at the time write an entire menu. Around this time I wasn't having my addiction to the fast paced, craziness of a good service fed and I was looking for a new spot to get my next "high". I had a few offers to work under some good friends of mine as their Sous and but out of no where came that old friend from the delicatessen. She told me her company was opening a new location and she was looking for people. OBVIOUSLY I jumped at that opportunity to work with her again, she was my superior back then and taught me soooo much how could I pass this up. I went in for an interview and did a stage where I had thought I was going to be just another line cook but this was not the case. I was offered a position to move up the food chain to become a Jr. Sous Chef (kind of like a Sous in training). As scared as I was during my first week as a prep cook I said yes.
Fast forward to apparently being pretty good at managing a kitchen I was offered the promotion to Sous Chef under my good friend and life was pretty great. I mean my professional life, My personal life was a train wreck. No time for friends or family let alone a relationship that would blow up in my face due to never having time or energy to keep my head in that game. Probably the worst of it all was being too busy to answer or return phone calls later finding out my grandfather was sick and had passed away without my knowing at all. Only to finally pick one up to my mother crying telling me I needed to come back to my hometown for the funeral. It was around this time that I knew that my addiction to this life was unhealthy and was effecting more then just a girlfriend or a missed hang out at a bar with some buds. I knew this life wasn't good but I wasn't ready to walk away or admit it.
Enough of THAT sad stuff and maybe another little fast forward. I had worked hard enough to be offered a position as the Chef Di Cucina or head chef, whatever. I was running an entire kitchen, and what time I did have shrunk even more. I thought I was building myself a future and possibly a future for the relationship I was in at the time. I mean I feel like I should have known that was going to also blow up in my face for the same reasons all the other ones did. I was already married. I was married to the job, my restaurant and the numbers. sales numbers, food costs, labor costs and a mess of other numbers. Sinking farther and farther into what felt like an inescapable pit my mental health, which had been declining over time hit a low. surrounded by those feelings and an impending doom I felt like I had no other choices. ALL of my experience was in hospitality, working with food and in kitchens, or so I thought.
Now came for the hardest decision I've ever had to make. The decision to walk away from 10 years of hard work and literal blood, sweat and tears. I had been thinking about it for some time and I knew in my heart It was something I had to do or I was doomed to implode or something like that. I booked a meeting with my executive Chef we hung out in the ally next to my restaurant while smoked a cigarette as I tried to explain to him how detrimental me continuing to work at that level would be to me and my mental health. His response was not something I expected and he was kind of resistant. Explaining all he had given up for this industry and what he had achieved but for me I was not willing to sacrifice more of myself to something that would not give me the same level of dedication and passion back that I had put in. After that meeting it felt like a massive weight had been lifted from my chest and I could breath again. I had not put any thought into what I was going to do next or how I would pay my bills but it was the single most important decision I had ever made.
I had some money saved to live for a few months and figured id figure it out what my next moves were when push came to shove. So I took a little vacation to a friends cottage and before that trip was even over another good friend of mine had signed my up for a job at his friends bar as a bartender. I figured why not, it'll be easy, part-time and probably a lot of fun. which it was. During this time still very close with that friend from the delicatessen, who was my Sous Chef, then my CDC a topic of conversation had started. What to do post kitchen life. We had talked about leaving the city and maybe even opening our own restaurant. We both eventually landed on Web Dev. We had a pastry chef who had made this decision some time ago and was loving life and the community involved in the tech world. I, myself was very interested in that world. As someone who has always been interested in tech or computers it was almost a no brainer so I booked a meeting and tour at Juno, which at the time was HackerYou. After the tour and meeting I was even more sure this was what I wanted to do but was scared and very underfunded.
another another fast forward, I had been working for almost 2 years in that bar taking some time away from building another career and having a serious job. BOOM covid and quarantine hits. the talk between my lovely and great delicatessen friend ramps up more about going to Juno and making the jump into our futures. During that summer we both said fuck it and joined the part time web dev course and then the part time java script course. I again am scared and feel a bit lost amidst this journey but I know its the right path. Which leads us to now, in the Juno boot camp and feeling slightly overwhelmed but determined to conquer this next mountain. With the support of my friends and family, I know I can accomplish this goal of starting a new career and being healthier mentally. I feel I owe a great amount to my sweet sweet delicatessen friend who has been there through so much of my journey and is taking it with me to better ourselves and futures wherever they may lead.
much like the start of this I am not quite sure how to end it so that it. Thank you.
Top comments (0)