(apologies to The Simpsons)
originally posted on the twitters at https://twitter.com/mattstratton/status/1222989536243920904
Stranger: Y'know, a developer with root access is like a mule with a spinning wheel. No one knows how they got it and danged if they know how to use it!
The name's Jacob. Adam Jacob. And I come before you good people tonight with an idea. Probably the greatest... Aw, it's not for you. It's more of a Netflix idea...
CTO: Now wait just a minute! We're twice as agile as the engineers at Netflix! Just tell us your idea and we'll prioritize it in the backlog!
Stranger: All right, I tell you what I'll do. I'll show you my idea! I give you the Monorepo!"
Stranger: I've sold monorepos to Facebook, Lyft, and Jim's Discount Tires, and by gum, it put them on the conference circuit!
Well, sir, there's nothing on earth
Like a genuine,
What'd I say?
Scrum master: Monorepo!
What's it called?
That's right! Monorepo!
Product Owner: I hear that pattern is out of date
Stranger: Ignore thought leaders, it's really great!
CFO: Is there a chance of incidents?
Stranger: Just ignore the alerts, don't be so tense!
Tester: What about the QA team?
Stranger: TDD makes your life a dream!
DevOps Engineer: Were you sent by Corey Quinn?
Stranger: No good sir, I play to win!
Security Engineer: My CPU is spinning loud!
Stranger: Shut down Slack and launch the cloud!
I swear it's your dev team's only choice, write up the user stories, raise your voice!
Customer Service Manager: But prod is still down and broken!
Staff Engineer: Sorry boss, thought leaders have spoken!