Living on My Own Server: The Balance of Time and Freedom

#life

Recently, I woke up to three different Docker containers being OOM-killed consecutively on my own VPS. PagerDuty rang at 4:30 AM, and my first reaction was, "Again?" This was a typical morning start in what I call living on my own server, where I manage all my personal projects and side products.

This situation is a concrete example of a long-standing quest for balance: the time and effort I invest in exchange for the freedom and control I possess. Living on my own server has become a choice, a philosophy for me.

The Price of Freedom: Time and Effort

I have a long-standing habit: setting up and managing everything with my own hands. This is essentially a reflection of the experience I've gained in system architecture and operations since 2006, applied to my personal life. It holds true for this blog and projects like hesapciyiz.com, spamkalkani.com, and islistesi.com, all hosted on my own server.

This freedom, of course, comes at a price. Sometimes, as on April 28th, when the disk fills up to 100% or I see kcompactd using 92% CPU, I have to spend hours at the terminal with a coffee in hand. Situations like an sshd failing to accept connections, a Docker disk fire, or blacklisting kernel modules like algif_aead to mitigate CVEs are among the responsibilities this freedom brings.

ℹ️ A Real-World Scenario

One day, I accidentally ran sleep 360 in the background on my own VPS and realized it got OOM-killed. Even this simple mistake can affect the entire system. Such situations constantly remind me to consider more robust approaches like "polling-wait." To err is human; the important thing is to learn from mistakes.

Why Do I Live on My Own Server? My Philosophy

So, despite all these problems and sleepless nights, why do I choose this path? There are a few fundamental philosophical reasons:

Full Control and Independence

On my own server, everything is my choice. From the operating system to the web server, from the database to the application layer, I choose every component. Astro, Node, SQLite, Nginx, systemd, GitHub Actions, Cloudflare form my daily toolset. I can shape this ecosystem according to my own needs, without being constrained by any vendor. This level of control is invaluable, especially when developing complex pipelines or specialized AI applications.

Continuous Learning and Experience

Even with 20 years of field experience, the world of technology is constantly changing. My own server acts as a sandbox for trying out new technologies, tools, and approaches. Moments when my Astro build consumes 2.5 GB of RAM and gets OOM-killed, or when Docker clogs the disk with 33 GB of build cache and 23 GB of unused images, transform theoretical knowledge into practical experience. These real-world scenarios constantly push me to find better solutions.

Economic Efficiency and Scalability

In some cases, hosting on my own server also offers cost advantages. Especially using self-hosted runners to avoid exceeding GitHub Actions quotas provides me with both flexibility and cost savings. The 13+ Docker containers I manage on my own VPS (including Postgres, Redis, Next.js applications) allow me to host multiple projects on a single server at a low cost. This is particularly important for side products.