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Discussion on: Persisting Past Dissonance: Adapting to the Identity of a Female Developer

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miniscruff profile image
miniscruff

(let's see if I can say this without being awkward...)

As someone who is always looking for ways to help, guide or teach others. I find that the feelings you express are not limited by those in a minority position (just as Brandin said). I find a lot of the people I try and help get intimated by those with more experience or that may seem commanding. I have been running workshops and things like that internally and I try and help everyone I can. Unfortunately, I still see a lot of people who refuse or hesitate to ask for help.

Part of getting better is knowing when you are out of your area of expertise and you need help. I am considered the main person to go to for help in our section of the office. But I still need to ask others from time to time.

I would say by in large most developers are willing to help, but you do need to reach out. We simply can't go around asking everyone if they need help. But if you messaged my for example I would, within reason, do my best to assist. They're is also slack communities, discord has some, gitter, message boards, Reddit. Finding a place you feel comfortable is important, some are more welcoming than others. Looking at you Reddit...

Other than that, just know a community this large is bound to have a few bad apples, I will apologize in advance...

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sylwiavargas profile image
Sylwia Vargas • Edited

Hey miniscruff, I'm happy you take time to respond to posts like this. However, while I agree with you that the feelings of pressure, dissonance, anxiety and impostor syndrome are not limited to only minority folks, it is so much more pronounced in these demographics. It is not a competition of who’s stressed more — stress is stress — however, how you frame it feels quite invalidating and very much contrary to inclusive.

It is also not "a few bad apples". This time we are not talking about personal experiences but data, studies, lawsuits and reports that are out there. It is not "a few bad apples". It may actually be "a few good apples", if we look at the stats closely enough. Fun fact — tech is the only prestigious profession where there are fewer women than 70 years ago (according to a tech author and programmer, Clive Thompson).

I want to leave with you one thought. Please notice that 40% (6/15 sentences) of your response is about you, your expertise and professional standing. That is a bit odd response and sadly, a response that women oftentimes get, as if it's saying "okay, okay, let's talk about me now". Sometimes it's just enough to say "that sucks, I'm sorry — if you need anything, reach out".