Your take is fair and restrained, btw. My own feelings at this point are that it's impossible to be too harsh about React. React's smug, myopic fanbase made me seriously consider quitting web development for the first time in my decade+ long career.
But that's not all React users, all React fans, or all React's core team. It's just the zeitgeist and a particularly loud, obnoxious, and ignorant segment of the fanbase. So I try to take deep breaths and avoid getting involved in fruitless debate.
Sorry about your bad experiences. If there's something we could do to improve it please feel free to reach out in Twitter DMs.
I'm tempted to return that dollar you just loaned me. But I'll be charitable. Despite this being the stock response of React core team members, you all probably don't mean to pass the buck of the responsibility that comes with your power along to me, a person without your power and the experience (of what's feasible) that comes with it. I genuinely believe you mean it literally and kindly. It's understandable. We put things out into the world and really lose control over what other people make of them. You are an engineer, not a sociologist or a public relations professional. If I were you, I wouldn't know what to do, either. Which is to say: it sucks, I don't know what to do, and I don't blame you for not knowing either. So I'll definitely let you know if I do have any ideas.
Have you considered psychotherapy to help with your anger and frustration, which is likely due to increasing feelings of irrelevance with regards to your skillset, rather than anything to do with the actual tech?
Hey, Dan! Jack here's a perfect example of what I'm talking about.
Yay I'm an example!
Hey folks, let's remember we talking about technology here, not atomic warfare.
We all have strong opinions on the subject, but I hope we'll find a way to express them without belittling each other personally.
We're a place where coders share, stay up-to-date and grow their careers.
We strive for transparency and don't collect excess data.