'Too Descriptive'—I had AI rewrite the first line of my post three times

📝 Originally published (in Japanese) at forge.workstyle.tech.

Just before posting to X, the first line of the copy looked like this:

Even reducing 9 buttons to 4 gets a "too many." Down to 1, and there's no response at all. So, what about 0?

The client's reaction was:

There's no way it should be this explanatory.

The video went like this: A designer cuts the buttons from 9 → 4 → 1 → 0, and each time, the boss says, "Too many." In the end, looking at a completely blank screen, the boss goes: "...nice whitespace."

That first line gave away almost the entire story. In the very spot meant to give people a reason to watch, it gave them a reason not to.

1st Time: Brief but Still a Preview

I had another AI (Codex) rewrite it. The conditions were "only visible in the timeline", "not a summary of the plot", and "don't write the punchline".

// ボタン1個でも、まだ気まずい。 (Even one button is still awkward)
// 削るたびに、正解が遠のく。 (The correct answer becomes more distant with each cut)
// アイブの前では、ボタンにも勇気がいる。 (You need courage even for a button in front of Aibu)

It became brief. But it's still explaining "what will happen next".

Round 2: A single line that hits home after watching

I took the client's instructions literally as the requirement.

Make it less descriptive, and more like something that makes people feel interesting after watching the video.

It's okay if only half the meaning makes sense before watching. A single line that makes you go, "Oh, so that's it!" after finishing. I chose the best one from the options generated.

Eve round        There are degrees of moderation even in subtraction.
Jobs round        Even aesthetics have a boss.
Jensen round    The big covers the small too well.
Dalio round      The stone bridge gets tired before you do.
Masayoshi Son round  The past tense is the scariest tense.
Sam round          It's in Japanese, but I need an interpreter.

"The big covers the small too well" refers to a story about being recommended 2,000 GPUs to build a website. Before watching, you have no idea what it's about. After watching, it hits home.

The character limit on X (calculated at 2 full-width characters) also dropped from 232–266 down to 178–202. By cutting down, I gained enough space for disclaimers and credits.

Three Rules I Decided on Midway Through

While rewriting, I decided to make a few other changes.

1. Do not use quotation marks 」 at the start of sentences that look like quotes from real people.
In one draft, I put the opening narration in quotation marks. All dialogue in the video is fictional. If only the first line is clipped and shared, it could be circulated as a real statement by the person involved. Since the disclaimers are at the bottom of the text, they might not reach the audience.

2. Do not use person or company names as hashtags.
While this increases reach, it means manually creating a direct path to the individuals or their fans. It is perfectly fine to include names in the body text (the content wouldn't work without knowing who the episode is about). Just avoid them in tags.

3. Avoid phrasing that contradicts facts.
There was a draft that said, "Even with just one, I was told it was 'a lot'." In the video, Eve says nothing when there is only one. I checked this against the script and changed it to "I didn't even get a response." I prioritized the impact of the first line but avoided writing things that weren't in the video.

Summary

• The first line is not a summary of the outline. It's a single line that creates a reason to watch
• If we set the condition to "it's only half understandable before watching, and it's effective after watching", the explanation will disappear
• We don't put the dialogue of a creation at the beginning with 「」. We don't tag the character's name
• The written proposal must always be compared with the script. The stronger the expression, the more it deviates from the facts