"Oh man, how do these guys who are younger than me beating me at my own game?"
"Maybe If I am working twice as hard I could surpass them?"
"I need to be really smart to do hose things"
"I am not sure this is for me and people here are way better than me"
"They are going to find out that I am not good enough soon and I am going to be sacked"
I have been feeling this way many times of my decade long career. When I was in my formative years, I always blindly thought those and I took them as truth without thinking. And me being in my own shell made it worse. It was my third year and my manager asked me "Where do you think you rank in this appraisal cycle?". I said without any thinking "I will be within top 3" and the competition is fierce and there are 10-15 people for that appraisal cycle. My Manager smiled and I thought myself that "Who am I kidding? top 3! what a joke. He must me laughing that I am this deluded". I never asked him what he thought afterwards. But ever since he asked me that whatever work I am associated with my Manager, that thought came to my mind and it was uncomfortable. To think that you are some sort of poser and not the real deal. The appraisal came and went and to my surprise I have been appraised well. I did not talk to my Manager or asked him what he thought about myself. I am not sure it would have helped if I did. In later part of our collaboration we became so close and enjoyed the work, that question never came to my mind again. It took some time for me to achieve with the craft I have been practicing to the degree of my expectation.
Time went by and different projects different form of imposter syndrome. It always comes and goes. Part of reason I felt that way is, I have been comparing with my peers and thinking I was not better than them. Its one thing to compete and other thing to use it as a scale to weigh yourself. I even told my peers about the way I feel about myself. They surprised me by saying there is one thing they feel out competed by me. It is a universal feeling that most of us go through. Get comfortable with that feeling, it will always be there for some time and use it as a reality check to keep you grounded. No matter how much you study or develop your skills, there will always be someone who would out compete you and all you have to remember is "they would also feel it that way about you".
This is my experience with imposter syndrome. And I know many of you do not post anything about yourself or learnings because of the same fact. Don't hold yourself back. Its better to post and then know what other think rather than your imagination slapping comments for your imaginary stupid post. Just post stuff and see what happens.
Now, I'm-a-poster. Read that again. If you read I am a poster you are right or you read I am an imposter, right again. Well, please find my AI skincare routine down in the first comment. Offer ends soon !
Top comments (1)
There is no skincare routine. You should stop trusting strangers !