I don't know what is going on anymore. I am just tired of doing this.
Humans cannot run on empty. We need a reward. We need a spark. We need some kind of reaction to know that our effort actually meant something.
I built 9 projects. I gave them away for free. I poured my time into them(minimum 8 hours a day).
But what did I get?
No public attention. No money. No job offers. Not even a single GitHub star.
Absolutely nothing.
I sit here and wonder: Is it my fault? Am I just bad at posting? Are my hooks weak? Is there some secret formula to getting noticed that I just don't have?
But then I look at the platforms, and I realize it's not just me. The system is broken(or maybe not).
I try Reddit, and I get banned for literally no reason.
I try X, but without Premium, the algorithm buries me alive.
I try LinkedIn. I try to break their boring "professional" rules, I try to be raw, and I still just get average, dead silence.
People ask why I post on Dev.to. Honestly? I don't even do it for the views anymore. I post here because it lightens my head. I write because I need to get these messy thoughts out of my brain and save them somewhere before they eat me alive.
I try to write strong hooks. I try to put my soul into my words. And still, almost every single post I publish gets less than 25 views.
Twenty-five.
The lack of public attention has completely nerfed me. I feel like I have no other options. I look at the traditional education system, I see exactly what it is, and I can't even force myself to care about it. My heart isn't in it.
Building project after project without any reward, without anyone looking at them, has made my mind feel messy and completely empty. I am exhausted.
But I can't stop.
I am trying to build a startup. I am trying to post here, trying to figure it out, but it feels like nobody cares. Zero attention.
I don't want attention just for my ego. I want to start this startup because I need to solve my family's financial problems. I want to retire my dad. That is the actual goal. That is why I am grinding so hard.
But how do you do that when you are staring at two massive walls: No money, and no attention.
I am geographically nerfed. I have no network. I don't know who to ask for help, and my mind is completely messed up right now.
I am 14 years old. And I already feel nerfed by the world.
I am posting this because I hope that someone out there - an actual senior developer or someone who has been through the dirt and the grind - will read this and step up. I don't want generic "just keep coding and stay positive" advice. My mind doesn't match with generic people. I need someone who actually understands this chaos, who can guide me, and maybe, just maybe, save me from burning out completely.
Because right now, I am running on empty. And I don't know how much longer I can do this.
I'm fu*king tired.
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