Why you are not where you want to be

We all have desires in our hearts.

The kind of lives we want to lead
The kind of places we want to be at
The kind of people we want to be with

All valid, but achieving them often feels difficult.

There are lots of reasons why, but there's one that usually stands out:

“What we currently are.”

A saying you should have heard that would make this clearer:

“You are addressed by the way you dress.”

If you want to be addressed as a king, you'd have to lead a life that mirrors that of a king.

This same principle has a crucial role to play in our desires.

You don’t become successful and then change who you are.
You become the person first: the habits, the mindset, the discipline — even when it feels awkward or “cringe.” Act like that person daily. Make the choices they would make, and the world eventually responds in kind.

Before you actively go out to make your desires reality,

You have to look inwards and intentionally ask yourself:

Do I currently look like someone who deserves that thing – relationships, opportunities, connections?

If you don't look like it, you'll struggle to get whatever it is.

First focus should always be on building a better you.

A better you that's well fitted for what you desire.

With this in place, you increase the chances of achieving what you want.

Be honest with yourself.

Real change requires a change in identity. A change in identity requires being absolutely fed up with who you are. Being fed up with who you are requires you to stop distracting yourself from what matters.

The world prefers that you don’t change.

It always starts with us.