How To Start Learning Python *NOW*

I see variations on the same question repeated hundreds of times. I want to point everyone to the excellent resources on python.org itself. Save yourself a lot of time scouring third-party resources and start here:

Step 0: The official Beginner's Guide:

https://wiki.python.org/moin/BeginnersGuide

If you've never programmed before:

https://wiki.python.org/moin/BeginnersGuide/NonProgrammers

If you have some programming experience:

https://wiki.python.org/moin/BeginnersGuide/Programmers

I especially want to direct newbies to the list of ranked and rated learning resources:

https://hackr.io/tutorials/learn-python