To Be too harsh with yourself

Sometimes, I get involved in activities for not pure honest reasons. I do them because of my ego, my success, or my earnings.

So, meanwhile, I declare to want to improve the world, in the fact, I'm pursuing my own interests.

So, when I become aware of this aspect of my behavior then I feel unmotivated, I see myself as a liar.

Then, I promise to not do it anymore but inevitably I fall into the same mistakes again and have the same unmotivate liar-base process.

Does this mean I'm not improving? Of course, not. Only that the path toward improvements is not linear. We have ups and downs, We have to repeat mistakes, and above all, we have to not give up.

Our genuine desires should emerge in the future and we will be revealed for what we are. And this time we should decide if to change or not and how.