I recently watched the new Resident Evil movie. 🎬
Watching the main character stumble from one disaster into another was absurdly funny and a li...
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If am a frontend guy, then I would give my last update to the company website:
In place of the normal website ui a message saying:
"Why the heck are you wasting your time in our app, go run and save your lives!" 😂
Wow!
🤣🤣
Best production deploy ever! A life-saving emergency notice. The higher your app traffic, the more people you can save 🤣
Wait, there’s a new Resident Evil movie? I might have to watch it now 😹 I’ve always liked the games. 🧟♂️
Also, the QA survival guide was hilarious. “One last edge case before I leave” absolutely sounds like how a QA engineer would die 😹 Please turn that version into a movie too!
As for me
Role: Frontend Engineer / OSS Maintainer
Survival probability: 55%
Biggest advantage: I’m used to understanding messy existing systems, migrating legacy code without breaking everything, and debugging unfamiliar codebases.
The professional habit most likely to get me killed: Seeing a broken system and thinking, “I can probably fix this.” 😹
My first survival rule: Don’t rewrite the whole city during the incident. Stabilize the critical path first.
Really fun article! 🚀
Hahaha “Don’t rewrite the whole city” is such a perfect line! That habit of wanting to fix every broken system is really relatable. And yes, the QA movie plot would be amazing 😂🧟♂️
It came out this year, the official title is simply Resident Evil. Glad to meet another Resident Evil game fan. I’m also a long-time huge fan of zombie games and films, hahaha, looks like we both have pretty dark tastes 🧟🧟♀️🤣
Role: Systems Architect / Infrastructure Engineer
Years of experience: 20+
Survival probability: Maybe 40% 😅
My biggest advantage: Years of dealing with unexpected failures have taught me to stay calm, look for alternatives, and always have a backup plan.
The habit most likely to get me killed: Trying to fix something that really should be left alone. 😂
My first survival rule: Never trust a single point of failure, especially when that single point is me!
I can already imagine everyone running away from Raccoon City while I’m still trying to figure out why the backup server isn’t responding.
Twenty years of experience, and I’d probably get eaten because I couldn’t resist troubleshooting one last problem. 💀😂
Loved this thought experiment! Your point about going back to reproduce a bug made me laugh. I think we’d both be in trouble for very similar reasons. 😄
Exactly! We engineers can’t resist troubleshooting, even in a zombie apocalypse 💀🤣🤣🤣
😌
ith such insane dedication, Umbrella Corporation would definitely poach you as their infrastructure architect. The systems you design will go up against the main protagonists of Resident Evil. Better add a few laser corridors to your design, hahaha.🤣
Hahaha, I think I’d fail the job interview! 😂
My first question would be, “Why does your entire security system depend on a few laser corridors? Where’s the redundancy?” 🤣
And knowing Umbrella, they’d probably classify that as a security incident and lock me inside. 💀😂
Congrats! You could end up as a Tyrant test subject 😂
Role: Data Scientist (with a security / reverse-engineering background)
Years of experience: 10+
Survival probability: 35%
My biggest professional advantage: I treat every unknown as untrusted input, and I'd model the outbreak's spread from whatever data I could gather
The professional habit most likely to get me killed: "Just one more sample until the result is statistically significant"
My first survival rule: Isolate first, analyze later, and never wait for p < 0.05 before running
I think QA and data science die the same way: you stay at the exit door asking for “n = 30,” and by the time the sample size is enough, the zombies already have the dataset. 😄
The reverse-engineering side doesn’t help either. I’d probably spend the escape trying to read the lab door’s firmware instead of just opening it. 💀
Nice thought experiment, and the AI agent joke (“Task completed successfully” while the package hasn’t moved) is painfully accurate.
Hahaha this hits perfectly! Waiting for statistical significance at the exit is such a data scientist trap. The firmware part made me laugh out loud 💀😂
As a QA, I might not even dare to take a single step. It’s my instinct to think: this path definitely carries risks. There must be hidden dangers I haven’t spotted yet.
I have 10 years of experience in reverse engineering; Is there any work I could do?
Crack all of Umbrella’s locks and lab gear ahead of time, clearing the path for Resident Evil protagonists and cutting short the crisis. But never meet them in person. Any random person who crosses paths with the main characters will end up dead, hahaha 🧟
I'm a freelance full-stack dev with 7 years experience. I think I have a 45% survival chance.
My best quality is that I write software that works even on power outages and bad networks. My project StacksNG works offline.
The habit that will most likely kill me is signing up for another hackathon right before I leave the venue.
My number 1 rule for survival is to validate all incoming requests. I check webhook signatures and would look at who is standing at the front door.
Enjoyed it. The "one last edge case" made me laugh as it reminds of someone I know very well.
Role: Penetration Tester
Years of experience: 2
Survival probability: 10%
My biggest professional advantage:
The professional habit most likely to get me killed: annoying the opponent (usually a firewall)
My first survival rule: lock the doors
Annoying firewalls as a habit 😂 Lock doors rule is simple but vital. Tough 10% survival rate! Just pray the locked room has backup water and food, hahaha🤣
Full-Stack Engineer 😢
Full-Stack Engineer? Then the survival rate has to be 100%! A super engineer combining every kind of engineering skill. They can handle product, development, testing, operations, even hacking. Totally unstoppable, hahaha 🤣
Honestly, I feel a little jealous of people with 15 years of QA experience and system architects with 20+ years of infrastructure experience. They must be making so much money! :( 😃
Good salary won’t help against zombies though 🧟♂️
Ohhhhhhhhh! 🦊🧟♂️🧟♀️
No need to fear, your plant army and tree friends are here! Time for Plants vs Zombies 😂
That's really an interesting question!
To be honest,I can't calculate such a probability(may be zero?)
As a software engineer , i can't use my tech do anything without electricity and network😅
If certain conditions are met, I can develop a website to help the protagonist and survivors mark key map information and survival strategies, helping them increase their chances of success.😆
From the games and films: internet can go down, but power likely remains. Your tech is still useful, and that map site would be great for survivors. Wait wait wait — no internet means nobody can access the website anyway, hahaha 🤣
Essentially what you have is a critical and questioning mindset - never assume, or "believe", always check! That's what gives you an edge ...
As for myself, I'd stock up on bottled water and tinned sardines - and always look over your shoulder, and keep doors & windows locked! ;-)
Hahaha, you flatter me! I’d probably be too scared to step outside. I’ll live on stockpiled instant noodles for a few days, and binge-read all those apocalypse survival guides 🤣
Good question :D
I have food for a few days :D
🤣🤣🤣Get plenty of canned goods and self-heating food 🥫