Confidence Follows Action, Not the Other Way

A lot of people are waiting to feel confident before they act.

They think it works like this. First the confidence arrives, then you do the hard thing.

So they wait. They prepare more. They tell themselves that once they feel ready, they will step forward.

And the confidence never quite shows up, so they never quite step.

I want to save you years of that.

Confidence does not come first.

Action comes first, and confidence follows it.

You do the thing while still afraid. It goes okay, or okay enough. And afterward, a little confidence settles in that was not there before.

Then you do the next thing, slightly less afraid.

That is the actual order. Not confidence then action. Action then confidence.

Think about anything you are sure of now that once scared you.

Speaking up in a meeting. Owning a piece of work. Telling someone they were wrong.

You did not wake up confident about those. You did them, badly at first, and the confidence accumulated from the doing.

There was no shortcut around the doing. There never is.

So if you are waiting to feel ready, understand what you are really waiting for.

You are waiting for a feeling that only comes after the exact step you are avoiding.

The confidence is on the other side of the action. You cannot reach it from where you are standing.

The only path is through the uncomfortable part.

This is freeing, if you let it be.

It means you do not have to feel brave to act. You just have to act while unbrave, and let the bravery catch up.

The feeling of being unready is not a signal to wait.

It is just what growth feels like from the inside, before you have the evidence that you can handle it.

So stop waiting to feel ready.

Take the small version of the scary step today.

The confidence you are looking for is not lost.

It is just waiting for you to move first.

– Asael Shinder