Here is one of the hardest sentences in your career, and it is short. This is what I am looking for.
Then nothing. No qualifier, no nervous laugh, no lower figure offered before anyone has even responded.
Most people cannot do it, and I am counting years of my own working life in that. You get asked what you are expecting, you say a figure, and then you hear yourself keep going. But I am flexible. Obviously it depends on the rest of the package. If that is too high I completely understand. Nobody argued with you. You negotiated against yourself in the silence, and you lost to yourself.
The silence is the whole test. It is uncomfortable for about four seconds, and four seconds of discomfort is a very good trade for the difference it makes to the next two years of your life.
Some things that make it easier.
Decide the number before the conversation, in writing, while you are calm. A figure invented under pressure always comes out lower than one you chose on a quiet Sunday afternoon.
Have a floor as well as an ask. The ask is what you say out loud. The floor is the point below which you thank them and stop. Knowing your floor is what makes you steady, because you are no longer improvising the entire thing live.
Say it as a statement, not a request. This is what I am looking for is a fact about you. Would it maybe be possible to get is a plea, and a plea invites a no.
And rehearse it once, out loud, alone. It feels ridiculous. It works, because the first time you hear your own voice say a large number should not be in front of the person deciding.
If the answer is no, that is information, not a verdict on your worth. Sometimes the budget genuinely is not there. Sometimes the band is fixed by someone three levels up. You can do something with a clear no. You can do nothing with a number you talked yourself out of.
Say the number. Let it sit in the room.
The quiet after it belongs to them, not to you.
– Asael Shinder
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