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Asael Shinder
Asael Shinder

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Your Manager Is the Person Who Hears the Least Truth

Count roughly how much feedback you have received this year. Now count how much your manager has received, and from whom. Their own boss, once or twice, about numbers. A form in the spring. Almost nothing at all from the five people who see them daily and could each name the one habit of theirs that costs the team a morning a week.

People do not tell managers the truth. Not from cowardice, but because there is an obvious asymmetry in the room and nodding is free. Which leaves the person making the decisions that shape your week working from the least accurate picture of anyone on the team.

You can repair a small part of that, and it is far more welcome than you expect.

Keep it to one specific thing they did and what it caused. When the requirements changed on Wednesday and we heard on Friday, two of us had already built the old version. Not, you communicate badly, which is a verdict on a person and impossible to act on. The first can be different next Wednesday. The second just leaves somebody defensive at their desk for a fortnight.

Bring the version you would prefer. If changes like that reached us the same day, even as one line in the channel, we would stop losing the work. A complaint is a cost. A complaint with an alternative attached is a proposal, and proposals get acted on.

Choose the moment. Not in front of the team, not during an incident, not in the ten minutes before they walk into a steering meeting. A one to one is exactly what that slot exists for.

Say it once and then let go of it. Repeated, it becomes your identity rather than their problem, and you will end up with the reputation while the thing itself stays exactly where it was.

Accept too that you may see nothing happen. Some of it lands quietly, months later, in a decision you never connect back. Some of it cannot be acted on at all because of a constraint that is invisible from where you sit.

And read your situation honestly. There are managers with whom this is genuinely unsafe. If yours is one, that is real information about where you work, and the right response is to use it rather than to test it.

– Asael Shinder

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