Most founders spend weeks building their product and 2 hours on their landing page. Then they wonder why nobody converts.
I built a tool that roasts landing pages the way a brutally honest consultant would — except it costs $12 instead of $5,000 and takes 60 seconds instead of 2 weeks.
After running dozens of pages through it, here are the patterns that keep showing up.
The 5 Landing Page Sins
1. Your Hero Says Nothing
"The all-in-one platform for modern teams"
What does this mean? Literally nothing. Every SaaS on earth calls itself "all-in-one" and "for modern teams." A visitor should understand exactly what you do in 5 seconds.
Fix: Replace with one specific sentence. "Send invoices that get paid 2x faster" beats "The all-in-one financial platform" every time.
2. You Have 4 CTAs Competing With Each Other
"Start free trial" in the hero, "Book a demo" in the nav, "Watch video" below the fold, "Download whitepaper" in the sidebar. Each CTA you add dilutes the others.
Fix: One primary action per page. Everything else is a distraction.
3. No Social Proof Above the Fold
If a visitor has to scroll to find out anyone else uses your product, you've already lost most of them. Logos, testimonials, or even "used by 500+ teams" — something that says "you're not the first person here."
4. The Page Looks AI-Generated
Rounded corners on everything, gradient backgrounds, stagger animations, pill badges. If your page looks like it was built by prompting an AI with "make me a SaaS landing page," visitors notice. They associate that look with low effort.
Fix: Use one font pairing (serif + sans), reduce border radius, kill unnecessary animations, use real images instead of illustrations.
5. Your Copy Is About You, Not Them
"We built an advanced AI-powered platform that leverages machine learning to..."
Nobody cares what you built. They care what it does FOR THEM.
Fix: Rewrite every sentence from the visitor's perspective. Not "we offer," but "you get."
Want an Honest Audit?
I built Roast My Shit — specifically the Landing Page Roast. Drop your URL, get a brutal design + copy + conversion audit in 60 seconds.
It checks:
- Hero clarity and value proposition
- Copy quality and specificity
- Design professionalism (or lack thereof)
- CTA clarity and conversion design
- Trust signals and social proof
$12 for a full audit. No sugarcoating.
The resume roast ($9) is there too if you're job hunting — free preview available.
What's the worst landing page sin you've seen? Drop it in the comments.
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