In a land before which existed BEFORE the beginning of time there was a boy who longed to become cyborg. He often dreamt of developing laser vision. He tried to develop this ability by staring directly into the sun while rubbing his eyes until those little floaty things appeared. He practiced all manner of martial arts before chipping a tooth using plastic nunchucks against his older brother's wooden nunchucks. This boy was privileged to sit in front of his father's Apple IIe from time to time and play Mrs. Pacman & Spy Hunter. This computer was intended to run his father's insurance company but the boy purloined it for gaming.
This boy pondered how to customize these games and would try placing the game discs in upside down and mash random key sequences on the keyboard before stumbling on what appeared to be assembly during one of his experiments. He would eventually go on to inherit an Intellivision II which was eventually adorned with a computer attachment and an Intelli-voice module. These peripherals would plant a seed in the boy which later resulted in his designing an early Siri prototype on iOS in 2009.
This boy would become a man, and not just any man. He would become a many of several programming languages. One who could recursively interpret Lua code scribbled in red Crayola on the back of an etch-a-sketch during a car ride down a bumpy road in real time. He would become a hero and a legend who won hack-a-thons and wrestled Windows-based Blackberry emulators into submission on OSX. He would grow to perform the impossible task of leading an iOS project using programming languages and hardware he never touched before, getting demoted and re-promoted in the same week, and immediately hosting a tech talk with with live demos while having NO prepared notes or material after pulling a 28hr bug-fix the prior night.
This legend would write his story, and his story would be posted here.
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