I don't know exactly what this blog is supposed to be. The story of how I ended up in the Flatiron Data Science boot camp? Maybe. A tale of my journey through depression, anxiety, self-doubt? Perhaps. A motivational post for others to read and relate to? Could be. Maybe it's even all of the above. But I'm getting ahead of myself, and should probably start at the beginning.
I'd like to start off by announcing that as of two days ago, I have finished my first project for my Bootcamp. If you would have told me I'd get this far 4 or 5 months ago, I wouldn't have believed it. So how did I get here, and how did this all start?
I had some general background in computer science, as well as some experience related to data analysis from my Psychology degree. It became apparent to me that Data was the future, so I decided to pursue a Data Science career. I chose the bootcamp route, because bootcamps were cheaper and shorter than university, and oftentimes more hands on. While doing research on various bootcamps I came across Flatiron, and it instantly drew my interest. The reviews were good, the job placement rate was high, there were multiple pacing options, etc. So I decided to try and apply. Within a week, I was talking to a representative and taking the screening test.
(Actual footage of me taking the screening test)
Lo and behold, I passed the screening test! Then began the second challenge: The prework. In order to participate in this bootcamp, I had to have a working knowledge of python and statistics. This meant that I had to learn python and statistics fundamentals from scratch, which is where the prework came in. I learned everything from data types to functions to using numpy. Did I mention that I also enrolled later, and therefore only had 2 months to learn all of this? Learning all that prework felt something like this:
But in the end I managed to finish the prework in time, and finally start on the actual program itself. There are multiple phases in this bootcamp, starting with phase 1 which introduces you to Data Science basics. Phase 1 also helps you set up up Github and teaches you to work with Git. After that you learn how to work with things like JSON, SQL, Pandas, etc. I started off strong; I took notes, copied examples, did the practice problems and labs, etc.
Then the depression and anxiety hit.
Oh yea, did I forget to mention I have depression? The doctors think it's either Major Depressive Disorder or some form of Bipolar depression. I also got Depression's partner in crime, anxiety. Here's some fun things that happen when those two mischievous scamps decide to cause trouble:
- Low/no energy to do anything, even get out of bed
- Lack of Motivation
- Imposter syndrome
- Panic attacks
- Incredible difficulty concentrating
- Feeling like a failure for not getting anything done
There are days when I thought of giving up, or told myself there was no point in pursuing this since I'm just going to fail anyway. There were days when I just laid in bed all day, internally yelling at myself to do something, anything. At some point I got in an accident and got sick at the same time and lost days of progress. Some days were better than others, but the bottom line was that the majority of the time getting any work done was incredibly hard. I did everything I could to dig myself out of this depression hole: I turned to friends and family for support, I talked to my doctor about new medication, I took breaks, I tried being nice to myself by not berating myself for not getting work done. Sometimes these things helped, and sometimes they did not.
And somehow, against all odds, I managed to finish phase 1. Now that's not to say that my depression and anxiety are gone. They're still here and I still have my bad days. But I think what I'm trying to say to everyone out there (and myself) is that it's going to be okay, regardless of your bad days. Take pride in the little victories, whether it's getting out of bed or taking a single page of notes. Please don't be afraid to talk about your mental health either. Gone are the days when mental health was swept underneath the rug. Preferably talk to a mental health professional, but family, friends, and loved ones can also be sources of support. And above all else, be kind to yourself. I know that can be hard sometimes, and we oftentimes feel bad about ourselves, which causes us to neglect ourselves, but just remember that you've made it this far and you deserve a chance to make it even further.
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