Being a manager is challenging. On any given day, I can look back on so many things that I could’ve done better. I could have brought more energy to a meeting. I could have spotted something that was bothering a team member a little earlier. I could have prioritized work differently or reduced the scope of a project. And on and on and on…
And the wins can feel quite sparse. When I was a developer, each day had some level of success. I got the code to compile. I was able to reproduce and fix a bug. I helped a colleague debug an issue with one of our libraries. Even when our team has a big successful release, it’s not as easy to spot what the team lead actually contributed.
So when I come across a clear win, I make a special note of it. Last week, I had one of those wins.
One of my team members was falling behind. He was working on a bunch of items: a bug fix, some research work, some admin work. He happily volunteered for the work, but they weren’t getting done. Prior to our weekly 1-1, I wondered what was the best way I could help him course correct.
I eventually approached him with a couple of questions instead of demands. I asked him how he was doing? I said that I noticed he had a lot of things pending, and asked him if this was his preferred working style.
Luckily, he said he didn’t like what was going on. This was fortunate. Instead of me making demands, such as “Get focused and start finishing work”, he came up with some modifications. He’d try to wrap things up, post updates more regularly, and ask the team for help earlier. I said I understood his current situation and offered my help. I told him that I would help prioritize items for him so that we could spend more time on the things he really enjoyed. After some discussion, I felt we were in a good trusting space. At that point, I was able to say the higher level things I really wanted. I wanted him to get things done and to be transparent with updates. I think this discussion went well. His goals were now aligned with the team’s goals.
I don’t know what will happen next. Maybe things will improve. Maybe he will continue his bad habits. No matter what, we had a conversation that lays the groundwork for building trust and partnership.
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