The key to developing your emotional intelligence (EQ) is continuous practice and iteration. Similar to learning a new coding language, books and Stack Overflow can only take you so far. Most learning happens by doing.
A simple, yet difficult, mechanism to practice that will help build up your EQ is something called shoshin.
According to wikipedia:
Shoshin is a word from Zen Buddhism meaning βbeginner's mind.β It refers to having an attitude of openness, eagerness, and lack of preconceptions when studying a subject, even when studying at an advanced level, just as a beginner would.
The βbeginnerβs mindβ philosophy is exactly what it sounds like: approaching things like you are beginner. When you are beginner, what do you typically do?
- Slow down to make sure you understand all points
- Ask clarifying questions
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Practice a concept, then show your steps to make sure you havenβt missed anything
Repeat your interpretation of a concept back to the person speaking to you
Why is this difficult?
What makes shoshin difficult to master is it can feel like itβs in direct conflict with your career and reputation.
Youβre paid to know, right?
Youβre likely a subject matter expert or team leader. Youβre likely depended on within your team to know the answers.
If your goal, however, is to improve your team culture and your personal emotional intelligence, you need to practice asking questions even if you know the answer. Asking questions unlocks the βbeginnerβs mindβ.
Asking questions develops EQ
If shoshin is all about beginnerβs mind, and beginnerβs ask questions, how can asking questions help develop my EQ?
Glad you asked! Letβs break it down.
Read the rest over at EQ for Devs.
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