"Explain it to me in dev terms."
My social battery has a rate limit.
The world isn't made for introverts: it's configured with extrovert defaults...
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It's taken some time for me to come to terms that introvert socializing is not defective extroverted socializing, and it's perfectly fine to be an aggressive networker who hangs out at the game tables at conferences and skips all the bar events. Maybe you'll miss out on networking with all the people who like bars, but you have an edge connecting with the people who are more like you.
"Introvert socializing is not defective extroverted socializing" -> I'm keeping this one, it took me years to get there too. Honestly yes, I'd much rather have one good conversation about something we both love than ten rounds of small talk (I'm very bad at making small talk). Thank you for this!
The thing that helped me is to stay in one place. By that, I mean joining a club or group of developers and stick to it. That way, you will get to know the community more and people will slowly get to know you as you become more active in a community. For this case for me, its dev.to because not only I blog, but I also comment on other people's posts and learn something new along the way!
Everyone is an introvert, but the thing I learn is we all have extrovert qualities. It doesn't mean we are now extroverts, but we have the necessary characteristics in order to connect with others and making new friends! It's hard for sure, but it is doable in you put your mind into it.
Being self-aware isn't really a burden in the long run, but it may feel like that if you just realize it. Though, it's important to know yourself (which is good for your case) because now you know what you need to do to improve.
Hope you are doing well and still looking forward to some DEV challenges you mentioned in the Welcome thread!
Thank you so much Francis :D I also think we all have some extrovert qualities, just running in the background until we need them, I relate very much to that. And yes, still looking forward to the challenges (I simple didn't have much time to participate in any yet as I've been very busy with job search), see you around there!
I relate to this so much. I’m an introvert too, and sometimes it takes me an embarrassingly long time to work up the nerve to post something, or even leave a comment. 😅 I’ll overthink it way more than I probably need to.
DEV has actually helped me with that a lot though. Most of the time when I do finally put myself out there, the response I get is pretty positive. I still hesitate sometimes, but every good interaction makes the next one a little easier.
I don’t think I’ll ever magically turn into an extrovert, but I’m getting a little better at temporarily borrowing some extrovert energy when I need it.
The overthinking before hitting publish is so real, I rewrote this post more times than I can count because I was trying to not sound too intense 🫥 But you're right: every good interaction makes the next one a little easier, and the response here has been exactly that. "Temporarily borrowing some extrovert energy" is the perfect way to put it. It comes with a bill to pay afterwards, but it's worth it
"Every time I walk out my front door, I carry the reminder with me: this world was built for a group of people that I don't belong to."
Funniest part about this is that it is not some conspiracy or a overwhelming numbers thing. It is just that the social systems of the world are used by extroverts significantly more than introverts almost by definition! Thus shifting their focus over time.
Exactly. It may sound very dramatic, but that's just how it is. And honestly, it doesn't discourage me at all. It's simply something I had to come to terms with at some point and adapt to. My point is, at the end of the day we humans are social creatures: the more social you are, the better your chances to thrive. But that doesn't mean us introverts can't have the same chances, or even more. Thanks for taking the time to read this!
Hi @ikrame-ih! Fellow introvert here!
I definitely know how you feel. Putting ourselves out there is a huge effort for us (impossible for some even). But I managed to get myself out there little by little. I accepted that I am this and what I am currently doing now is forming positive habits like active networking.
Though I ran out of social battery fast, I make sure to at least lend a couple of hours (or more) just simply interacting, posting, commenting, or talking with people daily. I also found out that it was not that bad. I got to meet a lot of great people and great opportunities because of it. So I hope this little experience of mine inspired you to do the best you can to build extrovert habits too. Wishing you the best!
Hi Elmar! I completely agree, and I'm actually doing the same as you. These last few years I've been slowly pushing myself out of my narrow comfort zone, making sure I dedicate at least a small part of my day to connecting with others and sharing what I do. That's honestly one of the reasons I joined dev.to, to find people like me and get into the networking habit. And I'm really glad I did, because I found people like you. Thank you for this!
yep. sounds normal. but i thought introverts have no battery because i'm somewhat an introv (very lightly tho) and i run on a power generator
Power generator? I would be needing that upgrade 😶🌫️
bro this is so me, we both are same somewhere twin