"Explain it to me in dev terms."
My social battery has a rate limit.
The world isn't made for introverts: it's configured with extrovert defaults. I realized that as a teenager, and it completely changed the way I saw everything and interacted with people.
As strange as it sounds, realizing it made me more awkward, not less. Before, I simply talked, stayed quiet, left when I got tired. Then I started analyzing myself in every conversation, and analyzing everyone else too. Maybe that's where my overthinker side began: the constant monitoring consumes more resources than the interaction itself.
Being aware that I'm an introvert has also helped me manage myself much better: I know my rate limit, I know I recharge alone, and I no longer see it as a bug. I came without documentation, so writing my own manual has taken me years.
Every time I walk out my front door, I carry the reminder with me: this world was built for a group of people that I don't belong to.
But wait, this isn't sad or a bad thing. Keep reading, will you?
Even my interactions on social media feel more controlled. Social media is literally the place where you can be the freest version of yourself, and yet I still don't really post, speak up, or join in that much. I behave almost exactly as I do in real life.
And you might be wondering: what does any of this have to do with being a developer? The truth is, the point I wanted to get to is networking. Especially in tech, I keep coming across people who are incredibly talented and just genuinely cool and kind. But I never get much further than the impulse to reply to one of their tweets or add a comment, let alone talk to them directly. And don't even get me started on events like hackathons.
And honestly, I'm not shy. In fact, once I feel comfortable, I might just yappear non-stop about the interests i'm disgustingly well versed in
Don't get me wrong: this isn't a complaint, and I'm not saying I'm uncomfortable being an introvert. Quite the opposite. I've always been someone who prefers to listen and observe, and not step in more than necessary. But I don't know, sometimes introverts get these sudden urges too. Sometimes we want a little while to role-play as extroverts.
I don't know whether finding out was a gift or a burden; I suppose that, like almost everything, it was both at once.
If your config is the same, you already know what I mean.
And now there's a question I would like to throw at you: is there any introvert or extrovert quality you don't have that you wish you did? Which one? Why?
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