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JohnnySweet
JohnnySweet

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Mental battle that I face, looking for support

Hey guys, currently I fight kind of a mental battle and i wanted to seek for some support.

I currently work as a Junior Frontend developer in a company for 1,5 year, stack is mainly Typescript, React, React Native, NextJS, Node, Firebase, Google Cloud. This is my first Job. I feel pretty strong at the current moment, i've learned many new technologies. In the beginning I've learned lots of JavaScript, later on I took a course by about React (i'm not finished yet, still working on it). I also work on a hobby project - website for my photography portfolio and blog.

Recently I've asked for a meeting with CTO to talk about my salary. I've told him about feeling stronger, solving more difficult tasks and in general passed some mental breaks of a developer. And then he showed me a graph showing how many tasks I've completed and told me that it is not very good. Well, actually I didn't do lots of work in the past time and I think it's a normal reaction from him.

So there's a situation where I did not show my capabilities fully, but I know that I have them and because of that confidence I've set a meeting for a raise. Now I was told that I have couple of months to show what I can and if everything's fine we will talk about raise. Currently I work on the hardest task I've ever had.

The mental fight is kind of an idea that I can lose my job and I want to do more because of those words CTO said. It kind of sucks because I push myself, I'm afraid of a burnout, that I had one a year ago. I know that it is kind of strange idea, because rationally I know that everything will be fine, but that idea still pushes me.

Have you ever faced similar situation? What was the mental battle of an idea to quit your first developer job and seek for a different one? Maybe you could help me with support and tips for mental battle?

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