Introduction
Many people might have experienced the feeling of thinking, like, "I could never do that", when hearing about someone else's success. Honestly, due to my personality, I rarely feel that way, but a while ago, I saw a friend looking down after hearing someone else's success story, which inspired me to write this article.
When I thought about it, I concluded that the main reason lies in our thought patterns. These patterns are often driven by the psychology of comparison and a lack of self-efficacy (confidence in one's abilities), and the following factors seem to contribute:
The Psychology of Comparison
Comparing others' successes to our current situation. This is a natural human reaction, but this comparison can evoke negative feelings and limit our potential.
Lack of Self-Efficacy
When confidence in our abilities and efforts is low, it becomes difficult to believe in our potential for success. This is often caused by past failures or negative self-evaluation.
However, I believe that even people with a tendency to see things negatively can turn the situation to their advantage by changing their mindset. In this article, I will summarize what is necessary to achieve this from my perspective.
Solution
Address the situation with the following steps:
Positive Self-Talk
First, when you fall into or are about to fall into negative thinking, develop a habit of speaking positive words to yourself. For example, instead of saying, "I could never do that", tell yourself, "I will work hard to achieve it step by step". Pay attention to your inner words and replace those that might harm or lower yourself with those that work in your favour.
Example: When a project deadline is approaching, instead of thinking, "I will never make it," tell yourself, "If I plan and proceed steadily, I can make it."
Organize and Plan Successful Examples as 'Useful Information'
When you hear a success story that you feel applies to you, start by organizing it as information. Focus on the person's efforts and processes when hearing about others' successes, and find points that you can apply to yourself. Understand that successful people didn't succeed from the start but have undergone many efforts and challenges. Summarize and organize how and what you need to do to increase your chances of success.
Example: When a friend passes a certification exam, find out how they studied and how much time they spent, and reflect that in your study plan.
However, not all success stories can apply to you. If you feel that the success story doesn't apply to you, change your perspective from "I could never do that" to "This method doesn't suit me, and it's not my fault. Let's look for another approach." There's no need to obsess over topics that don't suit you.
Take Action
Based on the organized information, put it into practice yourself.
This is my own twist, but after summarizing the story of a successful person, I often take the approach of working twice as hard as they did. Since I am not particularly skillful or capable, I think, "If I work twice as hard, surely it will go well" 😅. Fortunately, I am good at sticking to things for a long time, maintaining my motivation, and making self-efforts, so I find this approach compatible.
For example, if a friend passed a certification exam by studying for 3 hours a day, I would plan to study for 6 hours a day and put that plan into practice.
Additionally, instead of trying to achieve a large goal all at once, breaking it down into small, specific steps can make it easier to gain a sense of accomplishment. This can also enhance your self-efficacy.
Conclusion
It's natural to feel negative emotions when hearing about someone else's success, but by changing your mindset, you can create situations that work in your favour. This isn't about turning a negative into a zero but rather into a positive. If this article resonates with you, why not try changing your perspective?
Positive self-talk, organizing information, creating concrete action plans, and then taking action according to a well-prepared plan will be key to your success.
Thank you for reading :)
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