Congratulations, South Asia! You’ve been annexed.
No, not by tanks. By a mural.
In 2023, the Indian Parliament — that mighty institution of democracy and, apparently, cartographic fan fiction — unveiled its latest masterpiece: Akhand Bharat. A glorious saffron-tinted blob that includes Pakistan, Bangladesh, Nepal, Sri Lanka, Afghanistan, and, for dramatic flair, a splash of Tibet.
Why stop there? Maybe throw in Dubai. Maldives. Wembley Stadium while you're at it. Because in the grand theatre of Hindutva expansionism, logic is optional. But nostalgia? Now that’s mandatory.
Meet the Real Estate Agents of Saffron Supremacy
Let’s start with the ideological architects:
- The RSS, India’s ultra-disciplined, khaki-shorts-wearing nostalgia club.
- The BJP, the marketing team with nukes.
- Golwalkar, the spiritual guru who once read Hitler and went: “Hmm, interesting.”
Together, they’ve taken a secular democracy and retrofitted it into a saffron-drenched startup called Hindu Rashtra Inc. Their pitch deck? Glorious maps, holy land fantasies, and quotes from 1939 dressed up as 2025 policy.
Step 1: Redraw the Map. Step 2: Gaslight the World
This isn’t about unity. It’s about Akhand Bharat ideology — a colonial cosplay with better social media management.
Remember Hitler’s Lebensraum? Yeah, that territorial thing that started with nice speeches and ended with Europe on fire. Swap out "Aryan" with "Hindu," and you’ve got the RSS’s vision board.
“Akhand Bharat is a civilizational dream,” they say.
Translation: “We miss the empire we never had.”
Spoiler Alert: The Neighbors Are Not Amused
Pakistan? Screaming into the void.
Bangladesh? Politely offended.
Nepal? Confused but trying to be diplomatic.
Meanwhile, India’s Parliament is giving off ‘This Is Fine’ meme energy while literally erasing international borders on official artwork.
If Canada drew a map including New York and said, “It’s just cultural,” the Pentagon would deploy Space Force.
But here? The West nods and says, "India is complex."
CAA, NRC, and the Art of Domestic Deportation
Before you expand, you must cleanse. That’s Rule 1 in the fascist playbook.
- CAA: Citizenship for all, except Muslims.
- NRC: Prove you belong or GTFO.
- Mob lynchings: Now with impunity!
- Bulldozers: The unofficial state emblem of New India.
All under the warm, watchful eyes of Modi and Shah — two graduates from the School of RSS who never missed a morning drill.
This isn’t a security state. It’s a nostalgia-fueled cosplay, with real casualties.
Yoga on the Outside, Yudh on the Inside
India still sells peace abroad. Temples in the U.S., diaspora hugs in London, and Instagram reels featuring the Ganges at sunrise.
But look closer.
- Textbooks now skip the Mughals.
- Reporters disappear faster than ethics in Arnab Goswami’s studio.
- And everything from movies to news is rebranded with that sweet, saffron sheen.
It’s not just soft power. It’s soft propaganda. And it’s working.
Akhand Bharat: The Map of Delusion
Let’s talk about this mural again. It’s not just offensive. It’s absurd.
You can’t erase 75 years of sovereignty because your great-great-guru said Nepal was once part of some Mahabharat subplot.
You can’t tell Sri Lanka, “Welcome back!” like it’s an estranged cousin at a wedding.
And you certainly can’t quote Vivekananda while bulldozing homes and calling it nation-building.
Unless, of course, you’re running on the RSS and BJP ideology fuel blend: 90% myth, 10% policy.
Paging the International Community: Blink Twice If You’re Paying Attention
The world applauds Modi’s handshakes while ignoring the growing list of red flags:
- Press freedom ranking? Tanked.
- Religious freedom? Eroding.
- Minorities? Asking if there's a Plan B.
But hey — G20 summit photo ops are shiny.
It’s almost like the world learned nothing from the 1930s.
Final Thought: If This Is Unity, I’ll Take Division
Akhand Bharat is not a dream. It’s a delusion — a nostalgia trap armed with nukes and WhatsApp forwards.
It’s the cartographic equivalent of a drunk uncle at a wedding yelling, “This used to be all ours!” while spilling Lassi on the DJ.
We’ve seen this play before. Only the color has changed.
Then it was brown shirts.
Now? Saffron.
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