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Sea Anemone

Randi Schreiner
I am just beginning in my software engineering journey and learning something new every day. Proud mom, wife and geek.
Updated on ・2 min read

As part of my bootcamp assignments we are writing a blog post about why we decided to study Software Engineering. So here is a rambling, slightly morose and possibly illogical post with my thoughts on this.

So I had my first child fairly young after years of not really having set a clear path for my future. So that basically set one for me - I was a single mother. And honestly, I loved it. But that also meant finding a job that could support us regardless of how much I enjoyed the work.

Jump forward to 2 months ago. Still at the same company. Still don't really love my job but I am pretty good at it (I should be after almost 20 years!). But now I have older kids, a husband and maybe a chance to find an actual career - like be a real person! So I start seriously considering what I enjoy, what I want to do. I throw out a few things because they just don't seem right.

When my son brings up coding as an option I think - no way. In fact, the first question I asked him was "Do you think I'm smart enough for that?" to which he rolled his eyes. So he helps me get started learning - I write a program to help me catalog my movies. I love it. It's like problem solving. This is perfect!

The name of the post is a song by Jets to Brazil. So it's a dark and beautiful song and Blake Schwarzenbach writes these lyrics that are so powerful. Now, I am totally biased. Jawbreaker was my favorite band and its unlikely I wouldn't like anything Blake writes... regardless, this song in particular speaks to me during this time because this was the most difficult decision I have ever made. My success in this program is not only about me. My entire family is putting life on hold to allow me to have this opportunity.

Also, I had to leave a job I was comfortable in and extremely knowledgeable at to pursue something new and not exactly guaranteed. So the lyrics, especially the last verse are everything I feel. This really is the first day of my second life. And when he says, "You can even keep the name, it never suited me" I feel like he's saying - I'm moving on to a different place, who I was before isn't who I am anymore and not really who I was meant to be.

So hopefully this is where I am meant to be.

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